No sense
Falling down again. Yesterday I had a melt down. I knew I was too manicky and headed for potential trouble. Now I am trying not to backslide and hang on to my faith. I just can't stop feeling as if God has forgotten about me. I want to sleep until this passes. Or sleep and not wake up. Am tired, lonely, scared, confused. I want to run away from all of this but have no idea where to go. This is too much for me and not fair to my kids. I feel so detached from myself right now....from everything. I try to accept that there are going to be swings...but I have too many too fast and it makes it almost impossible for me to make sense of things. I used to have a job, somewhat of a life, a smile all the time......and now I have swings and sadness and too many struggles. I don't know how long I can keep this up. My kids keep me here, that's it. Nothing but them.
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