No reading back

I've meade a start reading the Artist's Way. Not a very big start but a start. She says Morning Pages should be done in longhand. I wonder why?
I wouldnt be able to have Koon comment if I didn't do them online. I'm not sure why they must be written. Hopefully it'll come clear as I read further.
My diet isnt working. i am 69.6 again. Try replacing breakfast with meal supplement. It has vitamins and minerals and metabolism boosters.
Bryan asked me to stump him the money to buy cheap cigarettes. I was a bit reluctant, hassle- but will do and I'm sure he will pay me back.  I have made my third order. It really is a blessing from GOD to be able to pay $13 a packet rather than around $40.
I need a new summer jacket. Opshop.
What else? I had a good sleep with long dreams about Mum and me going to a bar and ordering a vodka each at $25. I wish I could recall all my dreams. Maybe a self hypnosis challenge.
What sort of artist do i want to be anyway?
A diary artist, a photography artist, an essayist?
Actually do i even want to be an Artist?! Do I have any talent?  Do I want to design clothes? Do I want to draw? Or do i want to write non-fiction like a BiPolar Workbook? 
I can't think of much to write today-so I can get away with saying "I can't think what to write today". You just go blah blah blah if that's all that's coming up.
Ivan and I are getting on really well. It's my Miracle to be in a great relationship. I wrote out my Miracle when I was at Bryan's and basically it was to have someone in my life who thought I was a beaut sheila. Ivan really loves me and takes care of me. I wanted a nice house with trees and birds and the smell of coffee in the morning.
It's lovely here with kauri and kahikatea and kowhai and rimu. We have 2 1/2 acres of bush. I need to make the meditation garden smoother under foot for lying in the sun. Sun bathing good for depression.
I have had about 8 weeks of feeling well but not manic. It feels like my natural state- but we all know I have had weeks and weeks of feeling down this year and the last few years. With a few too far up in between.
I am sure it must be the Prozac. I am scared to go down again after counting on it. Or for it to stop working. I just hope and pray that it'll keep my mood up. I dont want to have to start again with something new.
Need to keep my budget in mind for savings for my retirement. About $150,000 without counting interest is all good. Poverty is one of my bugbears. Ten years or eleven if I work an extra year after I qualify for the super. Will mean I can save a whole lot of money to live off the interest. 5% of 150,000 is $144 per week.
On top of $278 odd dollars is $422.  Enough especially if I get a council flat if Ivan has predeceased me. The rent on them is not very much. Or I might shack up with Bryan again. Or Nick? It's scary to think of a future without Ivan - so best I don't.
I will take the Arist's Way to read on the bus today.
Is this 300 words?
P.S. Oh I had a great time chatting with dS friends yesterday. We seem to be becoming real friends JoeGo, Nobody666, Timharold, Omar1961. I want to take a trip to America when i retire. Something to look forward to.
And maybe sri Lanka too?



self hypnosis I have tried that with some success in the past.

Hi Dinah. :) You are a wonderfully gifted, and talented person. :) You have amazing creativity, and i am so very proud of you for pursuing your goals, and working hard to fulfill your dreams. :) You\'ll always have our support. :) You have come very far. :) always remember the great progress you have made. :) i\'ll always believe in you, and have faith in me. :) my mom often tells me, she says, \"You can achieve anything you set your mind too.\" :) It\'s so true. :) keep strong, and continue to take very good care. :)