no one to talk to
I'm just sitting up awake, it's 10PM here on the West coast. I'm just thinking of Sophia, today I found out for sure that I don't have ANY clotting disorders, and my hematologist gave me the clear for getting pregnant again... And I'm just confused and sad. And angry and jealous and regretful of not paying more attention. It's so hard to make this decision to try again, at first I was so ready, but now a year later... I just can't make a choice.
Yes, I want a baby. But I want MY BABY GIRL!!!! MY DAUGHTER! But she's gone away and I have no answers. I can have another but there's no guarantees. IDK, I'm just lost. Goodnight.
Yes, I want a baby. But I want MY BABY GIRL!!!! MY DAUGHTER! But she's gone away and I have no answers. I can have another but there's no guarantees. IDK, I'm just lost. Goodnight.
Replies
I think the clotting disorder scare is what they all say when they have no answers or when they know that they are the ones who messed up.
Keep your head up... Just thank God you are not my age!!!
Hugs, Love & Rainbows!!!
N.
I know that feeling. When I was tested for the clotting disorders and found out they were all negative, it left me feeling confused. There just HAD to be a reason. . . how does a perfectly healthy baby just die? I hope that you can find a place in this \"no answers\" limbo where there is a small bit of peace. It was and still is something I struggle with myself, especially while being pregnant again, but I try my hardest not to let it sideline me. Only think about today--the what ifs are too overwhelming for any of us. Take care.
Hugs,
Kelsey
I too was tested for clotting probs, which came back negative, then they put me on baby aspirin, just in case... most don\'t find out why, why my baby and not the next one, despite similar pregnancies... noone knows... I got pregnant again quite soon after losing Jayne, I knew she would never come back to me, even though deep down all through the pregnancy, somehow there was a small thought she might... rainbows don\'t reemburse you for your losses, they don\'t say that your angel never happened... I suppose the question you have to ask yourself is do you want to be an active mom, a rainbow mom, as well as an angel mom? Sophia will always be your special little girl, nothing will take that away from you... take your time, decide what\'s right for you and your partner... sending hugs,we\'re all always here to talk to,you\'rre not alone! Ruth