No More Lola :(
My mom gave her dog up for adoption today. She just couldn't handle taking care of her all the time. Her dog was scratching herself raw and bleeding all over the place. I think my mom gets to see her one more time. She has to drop off the allergy shot medication that wasn't working for her dog. I'm sad. I liked her dog, and I didn't realize at first that she was going to be leaving her for good. My mom was crying, but I thought she was just going to miss Lola (the dog) for the couple days I thought Lola was going to be gone. I don't know what my mom is going to do with all the stuff from Lola... I'm getting depressed just thinking about it. I would love to take Lola home myself, but I can't take care of her, and I can't afford all the care she needs. I just feel bad... I miss Lola already, the crazy bugger she was. She was a pain in the butt, but she was a caring and loving pain in the butt.
It just makes me think of what it's going to be like to lose Angela. I don't want to think about it, but if I'm getting all emotional over my mom's dog who I almost never saw, then I will be a wreck over Angela. Sometimes I want to get rid of her, because she's a pain, but all she wants is love. She's such a loving kitty. I just took a break to help my step-grandmother with the dishes and I feel a bit better. I just had to get out of that depressing thought train.
Mood today was okay... I wasn't feeling that great today because I slept like crap last night. I didn't fall asleep until 1am, and got less than 10 hours of sleep. I did manage to get a nap in, but for an hour. I normally nap for a couple hours. I'm trying to get this done before I have to go do the dishes... I have to do the dishes when I'm here so my step-grandmother doesn't do them. She's 82 years old and feisty, but she doesn't have the energy to stand and do the dishes. I get kinda upset that I have to do the dishes while I'm on vacation, but it's my contribution to the house. I guess I've been on a roller coaster of moods today... I didn't know about Lola, and I'm so glad I went with my mom and woke up in time. She went just after I woke up.
There I go again, thinking about depressing things... I need to get in a more positive light. I just watched a YouTube video that Geo did about his new game, and he's happy about it. I'm glad he's happy, I just wish I could have something positive to cheer me up. I'm going to call Geo soon, after I'm done with the dishes so I can hopefully listen to him talk about how awesome the game is so I can have a distraction. I hope I'm not up all night tonight... I have a lot of bad things on my mind that I'd rather not dwell on. I think I'm going to take klonopin early tonight... I didn't want to take it if I didn't need it, but I think I'm going to need it tonight. I want to avoid getting into a depressive funk again if I don't need to be in one.
My mom just came in, and I keep expecting to see Lola following her. I can't help but think about poor Lola. I know she will be taken care of well at the vet, and I hope they don't put her down, that they put her up for adoption. She is such a loving dog that needs a good family. She's old, but not old enough to be put down. I know it's going to be an adjustment phase, getting used to not having Lola around... but once I get home it should get better. I just hope I don't get all mad at Angela... I miss her and I wish I could cuddle with her. I know my mom's cat, Bo Kitty, is going to miss Lola- they were buddies. I guess we just need time to grieve.
Food today was good... I had salad for lunch, chicken noodle soup for breakfast, and beef stroganoff for dinner. The stroganoff was really good.... it's one of my favorite things that my mom makes. I know it's not the best thing for you, with sour cream and all, but I was average on my calories today, so I could afford it. Stress was high today, with losing Lola and dealing with my mom and her husband on that... mood was okay. I almost want to put bad, but I didn't do bad for most of the day. I was just okay for most of the day. Sleep was bad... I had to take a bunch of klonopin last night to sleep, so I didn't sleep deep, and I didn't get a lot of sleep. Hopefully tonight I can get good sleep, and feel good tomorrow.
It just makes me think of what it's going to be like to lose Angela. I don't want to think about it, but if I'm getting all emotional over my mom's dog who I almost never saw, then I will be a wreck over Angela. Sometimes I want to get rid of her, because she's a pain, but all she wants is love. She's such a loving kitty. I just took a break to help my step-grandmother with the dishes and I feel a bit better. I just had to get out of that depressing thought train.
Mood today was okay... I wasn't feeling that great today because I slept like crap last night. I didn't fall asleep until 1am, and got less than 10 hours of sleep. I did manage to get a nap in, but for an hour. I normally nap for a couple hours. I'm trying to get this done before I have to go do the dishes... I have to do the dishes when I'm here so my step-grandmother doesn't do them. She's 82 years old and feisty, but she doesn't have the energy to stand and do the dishes. I get kinda upset that I have to do the dishes while I'm on vacation, but it's my contribution to the house. I guess I've been on a roller coaster of moods today... I didn't know about Lola, and I'm so glad I went with my mom and woke up in time. She went just after I woke up.
There I go again, thinking about depressing things... I need to get in a more positive light. I just watched a YouTube video that Geo did about his new game, and he's happy about it. I'm glad he's happy, I just wish I could have something positive to cheer me up. I'm going to call Geo soon, after I'm done with the dishes so I can hopefully listen to him talk about how awesome the game is so I can have a distraction. I hope I'm not up all night tonight... I have a lot of bad things on my mind that I'd rather not dwell on. I think I'm going to take klonopin early tonight... I didn't want to take it if I didn't need it, but I think I'm going to need it tonight. I want to avoid getting into a depressive funk again if I don't need to be in one.
My mom just came in, and I keep expecting to see Lola following her. I can't help but think about poor Lola. I know she will be taken care of well at the vet, and I hope they don't put her down, that they put her up for adoption. She is such a loving dog that needs a good family. She's old, but not old enough to be put down. I know it's going to be an adjustment phase, getting used to not having Lola around... but once I get home it should get better. I just hope I don't get all mad at Angela... I miss her and I wish I could cuddle with her. I know my mom's cat, Bo Kitty, is going to miss Lola- they were buddies. I guess we just need time to grieve.
Food today was good... I had salad for lunch, chicken noodle soup for breakfast, and beef stroganoff for dinner. The stroganoff was really good.... it's one of my favorite things that my mom makes. I know it's not the best thing for you, with sour cream and all, but I was average on my calories today, so I could afford it. Stress was high today, with losing Lola and dealing with my mom and her husband on that... mood was okay. I almost want to put bad, but I didn't do bad for most of the day. I was just okay for most of the day. Sleep was bad... I had to take a bunch of klonopin last night to sleep, so I didn't sleep deep, and I didn't get a lot of sleep. Hopefully tonight I can get good sleep, and feel good tomorrow.
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