No more Joy

Well it has been so long since I wrote anything, not much new, same old heartache, I miss Ash more and more but nothing seems to help.. Her sisters seem to go about their lives , I guess they need to but I feel stuck , stuck in a life with no joy no true joy I smils sometimes I laugh sometimes but with a half heart , wish I could feel the way I did before that miserable day! I just want to see Ash smile and laugh..come home from college, she would be in her senior yr! next month she wuld have been 20 !! I hat this , nothing I can do , but get up eveyday and go about my life in a daze!!  The little league held a Ashley Smith memorial event it was nice , parents played against their kids teams but then it got rained out, but it was nice to actually see Ashley's name written , so everyone could see and would ask ablut her and who she was!! but also was hard bittersweet I guess....

Replies

KellyLee105
KellyLee105

I know how you feel..It breaks my heart to see another mother in pain the same way I feel..Even in my sleep I feel sad..My daughter seems to go about her life too...she doesn\'t like talking about him... I do...She hates it when I talk about her brother in front of her friends...We both lost our child in year 2006.. I had my sons 3rd year angel day already in April..We just have to learn how to live without them...I guess I\'am a slow learner..(((LOL))) Hang in there..Love, Kelly
Robin4
Robin4

I\'m sorry for your continued sadness. It seems the only thing that doesn\'t change is the heartache. Seldom do my boys talk about their brother but I know they think of him often. Somehow I just \"tuck\" it away and do my best to get through each day. I remind myself that I have other great kids that need their mother and I concentrate on the happiness I have in front of me. Hoping you can find that with your other girls. What a wonderful event to honor Ashley. I\'m sorry for the rain. Must have been her tears of joy. Love to you. Robin
biowoman
biowoman

How precious that they recognized Ashley as they did...that is really awesome. I do understand the bittersweet...that seems to be a constant in my life with Evie...Alex\'s little girl. Keep plugging along...love and hugs...Karen