No more fear....well baby steps.
I took today off. Ive worked 8 months and never took a day off but I decided today was the day. I hem and hawed in fear for about 30 minutes worrying i might lose my job. But the truth is, we arent busy, everytime i ask my boss if there is any work for me she says no, so I go back to my office and surf the net until she comes in my office and peaks in the door to see what im doing which makes no sense to me. Yes, i wont get paid, but, ill prepare. My sanity needs this. Im tired of people pleasing. And honestly, a job in a garden center outdoors is looking pretty tempting right now. Im sure the money wouldnt be as good but, atleast my chest pains would go away and i might be able to sleep soundly.
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Another salute from the Arf Gallery, my healing warrior. Small steps, big faith and lots of prayer. Continued support while you accomplish your epic journey of small steps.
For what it's worth:
Strictly personal:
On the employment front, turning my most healing hobbies into *work* proved disastrous in my own strictly personals. I failed to eliminate work stress while polluting the healing benefits of my most healing hobbies. At the end of each of those attempts, I concluded that, no matter how I shake ^it^ work remains a four-letter word that ends in a hard sound. Here in my retirement years, I am discovering that filling an empty, stress free schedule is MUCH more work than the young-at-heart promoters claim. Damned market inflaters. . . Or is that God proving that She/He/It has a sense of humor?
I had a similar problem. I was a boss in a company that only cared about the final product and cared less about it's workers so I was always getting it from above, or getting it from below. It made me a nervous wreck and triggered a drug and alcohol addiction in me.. All the time, I was afraid to quit because I was making good money but there came a time when my sanity meant more to me then money so I quit.
Eventually, I took a huge leap of faith and went into business for myself. I struggled for awhile but now I am at a point where I am turning down work. I never in my life thought that I would reach a point where I had so much work that I could pick and choose what I wanted to do! That's what Faith does!
God Bless
I wish I could find some houses to clean full time so then I could just quit this office crap. I dont even know where to begin. Right now Im just so tired I cant think straight. Im a little worried about going in today after taking off but honestly why should i be?
Ouch. A new job is not a baby step. A new career is even less babyish.
Easy does it, my healing warrior. More prayers for a solid, restorative rest. *That's* a pretty critical baby step. Both literally and figuratively.
There are nights getting a baby to sleep is a giant sized challenge. . . Hope today went tolerably well, despite the tiredness. Prayers in progress.
It's true. I don't by any means underestimate my job, but, not at the expense of my health. My irritating coworker was out today and the day was quiet and drama free. Off to my counseling session here soon...hoping it makes my tired like my sessions usually do and helps me sleep.