No matter where life takes you , stay strong & Never Ever Give Up!!!

This quote of "Never Ever Giving Up" has been a favorite of mine!!! After my husband & I divorced after 22 years, the family dynamics went downhill.  My children were torn , and their live's to what they knew were shattered . My son then was 15 and my daughter 11. So I constantly would instill this quote to remember,,,  no matter how far down the scale we have gone, " DONT EVER GIVE UP!!!" There is always H.O.P.E. ( Hold On Pain Ends) And it is at this very moment, that I, of all people am having the hardest time with my own advice.  Both my son & I have known for about a week and a half that this day was coming.  He was sentenced on the 2nd of February to Vehicular Manslaughter w/an enhancement of Hit & Run . 2 1/2 yrs ago he was involved in a car accident on a rainy night while driving his friend home, they lost control of the vehicle and struck a tree. His friend died next morning. My son did not purposely get in that car accident. It was exactly that, an accident.  He did leave the scene to get help, overall I  know how scared he must have been, and being in and out of juvenile hall since 15 yrs old, for minor things, his name had ran bad in our city . He was arrested and has been fighting this case now for 2 1/2 years, to which he was sentenced on February 2nd, to 7 years in state prison. The social media has always and continues to tear his character down making him to look like this monster who purposely got into this accident,  which led to his friends death, they will go even as far to call him a murderer!!! Which he is not!!!

I woke up suddenly this morning out of a deep sleep when i felt this urge to check the Orange County Sheriff's Website and saw that he has been released to go up to upstate. This all happening within the past hour now, and my heart is hurting so so so much that it is so very hard to "NOT GI'VE UP!!!"  I know that I can talk for only myself that I as  a single parent of a prisoner have always shown strength and courage but most of all HOPE to my son each and every phone call & visit that we have had the past couple of years. I  can't get a grip on why the hell I cannot take my own damn advice??? Is it Satan trying to get under my skin, ??? If so then I'm going to say right now outloud: " NOT TODAY SATAN, NOT TODAY!!!" 

I do understand as well that it's not " all about me" &  "my pity party" of these feelings I am having, but also the "extreme guilt" of having left their father 5 years ago and  if I hadnt,  would we still be in the situation we are in today???   I realize that God does indeed have a plan designed for each and every one of us, but even with that being said, it is still  hard to understand why his friend died that next morning, & even harder to sit and watch & having listened to the victims own Mother & Grandmother read outloud their Victim Impact Witness Letters during his court sentencing. They are still very angry, but the mother did end her letter encouraging my son to take this next 7 yrs. to work on himself into becoming a better citizen. And to start making those right decisions,  and to be thankful that HE can still have a chance of doing just that, because her son unfortunately would never be given that chance in life . I pray that my son ( my only baby boy) will take this time to fall to his knees and ask God for his guidance &  continued strength to conquer through these next year's ahead of him , but most importantly to ALWAYS remember to "NEVER EVER GIVE UP!!!" 

Thank you for letting me share my story