No help for me

Well, I went to the doctor last month.  After an extremely painful exam, she said I had an infection in my uterus.  Two miserable weeks of doxycycline, horrible side effects...pounding headaches severe nausea generally feeling horrible, that's over with.  Then painful ultrasound, which came back normal, thank goodness.  Finally a biopsy of my uterine lining, the procedure was somewhat painful, but the cramps after were horrible.  Literally fell down in the floor in utter agony.  Finally got the results from that, normal, again, thank goodness.  So, after all that misery, doctor decides my hormones are imbalanced...duh, could have figured that out myself, premenopausal stuff.  So, since I still have cycles, she won't give me hrt.  And, to top it off, she won't even prescribe birth control pills to regulate things because I have a history of smoking...which I no longer do.  Supposed to take herbal junk, which I already tried in the past with no success.  Gave me Effexor for hot flashes and depression, which actually works for hot flashes, but doesn't help with the moods at all.  In fact, I feel weird.  Disconnected, feel like I'm in a daze.  People talk to me and I don't even know what they are saying.  Been on this for a week, don't know if I should continue or not.  Still exhausted all the time, still feeling so bad, I just wish I could die sometimes so this will be over.