No guts
Well, I have studying to do a new course at university. I can't deny it's a course that it's pretty much more interesting than the one I did in the last five years and that I didn't enjoyed at all.This course was making me unhappy but I didn't stop because I didn't know what to do until I heard about this new course I am talking about. Still, I have some challenges to face, as it's a new one I don't think there's enough opportunities in my city. So sometimes I think I am going through an empty option. I am afraid, because when I finish this course I'll be 26. I am trying to get a job in the area of my graduation. I know I am not going to enjoy that much, it's going to be hard, but I need money, and i have no other option. I could give english classes but with my emotional problems I don't think it's something recommended. It's better if I find a burocratic job.Sometimes I have this fear of never getting a job, it's like an empty hole under my feet. But I promised myself I was going to study hard to get this job (I need to be approved in a test). I am trying not to worry that much, and everytime worries come i say "go away, I am doing what is necessary, i can't guess the future, i have to stop planning things i don't even know if it's gonna happen or not, all i can do is live today, control my acts today, let it go". I feel really good when i can put this worries away you know? it's like trowing out something really heavy out of my back and starting to breath naturally, with no pressions. I think I am the one who pressions myself the most. The positive side of all this is that I am walking through a path where I am really trying to be happy, I can't wait to start this course and see if it's really my future profession or not, but only the fact of trying it it's a big step. I am completely changing area, it may work or not but I guess people have no option but trying to be the happiest they can and this is what I am doing. God is taking through the right way....even if it doesn't work...I will find my way...
Replies
I think you\'re really onto something when you say that you\'re the one who pressures yourself the most. Sometimes it\'s so easy to look at all the reasons why things won\'t work out and then just give up or sabotage ourselves before we have a chance to succeed. So keep trying to tell yourself that you can do this. You can do this course. You can get a job. The more you picture those good things happening, the less you\'ll listen to all the fears in your own head about how you can\'t do any of it. And then you\'ll be able to function better in everyday life.
I know it\'s easier to say than to do, but you have to start somewhere