No feeling exactly
Actually that title is not really correct. I'm angry and sad I left my kids with HIM at the beach, while I had to come back for orientation Monday and Tuesday. I'm angry he will be taking Nate to the dr's visit instead of me...I've been doing it for 6 and 2 years respectively. I know he is their dad but I don't want to give up my control that I've had...he did not want to do anything with them until it came to light about his cheating...now he's playing the prodigal father...obviously someone is putting a bug in his ear to do it or he wouldn't be. I'm afraid I will lose my boys to HIM over this and over time because of my having to go to work now, and him getting more vacation time than ever. HE did THIS to our family and I have to pay the price. I'm so alone with no sound of the boys in the house and the silence is deafening. I miss them, not just because of them, but because he has them and I cannot monitor what he is doing. It has always been my job. Again, he's slowly chipping at me..using them to chip at me and I have to let him for their sake.
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I know how difficult that has to be but you have to think of your boys and they don\'t really know what\'s going on between you and him. They will love getting their Daddy time and I guarantee they will miss Mommy very much.
As for him getting the kids, I find that difficult to believe, especially since he strayed. Would he even fight you for custody, or would he just concede to partial custody like my STBX did? Is your state a no-fault divorce state? Even if it is, some judges weight marital misconduct VERY heavily in their decisions on such things like custody, maintenance, etc.
Sending you hugs and hope that you can find some peace and get some rest this evening, I am sure you need it after the weekend. Just think about getting through the next two days and try not to let his behavior chip away at you. No sense getting upset over a situation you can\'t control for now.
(((llmt)))
Yes, DE is no fault and they do not care either way who did what. It\'s too small of a state for them to give a crap. I wish I got rest. Just realized this morning how lonely it is. I thank you so much for your support. You have truly been on of my greatest rocks on here along with a few others. I have to go to orientation for a job, which I do not want but must do. I\'m shaking with anxiety, like always. Hope it doesn\'t show.