NO Fear NO regret
No Fear No Regrets
It's been almost ten weeks since my wonderful Johnny has passed away. In this time, I've cried buckets, laughed hard, and learned to remember all the things that he taught me. I know I'm not anywhere near where some of you are in this journey, and I also know that each of us are so very different, but I am learning. I'd like to share with you some of the things that I have learned so far.My husband was LIFE. In his younger days he rode broncs and bulls, he raced cars, he loved hunting and tagged hogs and deer, he fished and caught big ones, and we have the pictures to prove all of this.What I learned most was TO LIVE, don't let fear or regret stop you from doing anything you want to do. Johnny was on the rope and rescue team at work, where I feared small enclosed spaces, sometimes he had to crawl into them as part of his job. He had a slight fear of heights but when needed he would step up and go into the cranes way up to the top.He did not and would not let fear keep him from anything.I will cherish and respect his memory and live the same. I am learning to face those fears now, regrets is a theif and I refuse to let it steal what I treasured most about my husbands life.We would talk about a lot of things but we always talked in a way to let each of us learn something. The lessons that he taught me are becoming my mantras."Live Debbie, if even when you're scared," is what I know he would say, because He said it when he was alive. I was 48 before I ever got on a horse, 47 when I first fed a baby calf, and I could go on and on. There is more that I could share with y'all, but this one is the most important. If I'm scared, I'm going to do it any way. I want to Zip line, my plan is in the next month I will do this. I want to travel, I want to try to do the things that he and I planned and to carry on the traditions that we started together. I won't let what I think or feel dictate how I should live. When friends and family ask me to do things I will do them, because they wouldn't have asked if they didn't care, and besides if they cared enough to ask why should I care what others will think. In the end it will be me that has the regrets and I know Johnny wouldn't like that. Besides that is a fear too and I won't be ruled by it. I loved my husband I will honor his memory by not being afraid. Life is not about curling up and dying just because they did. As much as I would have liked to at first I know my husband loved me, I know that I loved him. I will continue to live to honor him, by not being afraid, not having regrets and when I do something I will blow a kiss up to heaven and tell him, "this one's for you Johnny."So as I close what I have shared I leave you with this. Are you going to be the one to live with regret? Or are you going to Live? Me, I will choose to live. Debbie, Johnny's wife and best friend.
It's been almost ten weeks since my wonderful Johnny has passed away. In this time, I've cried buckets, laughed hard, and learned to remember all the things that he taught me. I know I'm not anywhere near where some of you are in this journey, and I also know that each of us are so very different, but I am learning. I'd like to share with you some of the things that I have learned so far.My husband was LIFE. In his younger days he rode broncs and bulls, he raced cars, he loved hunting and tagged hogs and deer, he fished and caught big ones, and we have the pictures to prove all of this.What I learned most was TO LIVE, don't let fear or regret stop you from doing anything you want to do. Johnny was on the rope and rescue team at work, where I feared small enclosed spaces, sometimes he had to crawl into them as part of his job. He had a slight fear of heights but when needed he would step up and go into the cranes way up to the top.He did not and would not let fear keep him from anything.I will cherish and respect his memory and live the same. I am learning to face those fears now, regrets is a theif and I refuse to let it steal what I treasured most about my husbands life.We would talk about a lot of things but we always talked in a way to let each of us learn something. The lessons that he taught me are becoming my mantras."Live Debbie, if even when you're scared," is what I know he would say, because He said it when he was alive. I was 48 before I ever got on a horse, 47 when I first fed a baby calf, and I could go on and on. There is more that I could share with y'all, but this one is the most important. If I'm scared, I'm going to do it any way. I want to Zip line, my plan is in the next month I will do this. I want to travel, I want to try to do the things that he and I planned and to carry on the traditions that we started together. I won't let what I think or feel dictate how I should live. When friends and family ask me to do things I will do them, because they wouldn't have asked if they didn't care, and besides if they cared enough to ask why should I care what others will think. In the end it will be me that has the regrets and I know Johnny wouldn't like that. Besides that is a fear too and I won't be ruled by it. I loved my husband I will honor his memory by not being afraid. Life is not about curling up and dying just because they did. As much as I would have liked to at first I know my husband loved me, I know that I loved him. I will continue to live to honor him, by not being afraid, not having regrets and when I do something I will blow a kiss up to heaven and tell him, "this one's for you Johnny."So as I close what I have shared I leave you with this. Are you going to be the one to live with regret? Or are you going to Live? Me, I will choose to live. Debbie, Johnny's wife and best friend.
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