No Expectations= No loss

I was so tired from thinking about all this stuff my ex huband is doing right now that I went home and fell asleep.  I didnt have the energy to do anything else.  He has now moved the expiration date to Aug 31-that day before my birthday.  I know how this plays out-Ive already let him know that I've called out his action.  Two years ago-he did the same thing at Christmas and disappeared.  He did it to me and my daughter.  Then just disappeared.  I dubbed his a sociopath/SM a long time ago-his pleasure comes out of other peoples suffering.  When his ego hasn't been stroked-he then reached back out and pulls it again.  This time-3 days ago.  Even though he is putting on the show with his business partners by copying them in emails he sends to he and his children-he knows what he's waiting for.  To deliver the "Bad" news on my birthday that there is no money and that the company we have dissolved and he is officially off the hook for his divorce financial obligation.  

I'm trying to get past my anger and put things in perspective.  The truth is-if you cant have expectations of the person you love or married to-then it is hard to have respect for them.  I lost that long ago with him and its the reason why I left.  He wanted to do everything without expectation.  It allowed him to run our family into the ground, emotionally and financially.  I gained and lost so many times in the 16 years I was married to him that finally the closure for me was to walk away.

I am angry at myself for allowing him to get to me once again.  I didnt realize how deeply vunerable I still was and how I have amanged to isolate myself from people out of mistrust.  I know I can change things-but-first Ive got to get past this anger.