No excuses, Day 1

I know lately I have been writing journal entries "I am going to do ____, and I am going to do ___" and then I never do it. I noticed that I have fallen back into wishing I was losing weight instead of ACTUALLY losing weight. For a while, I came SO tired of counting calories and just wanted to be normal! But, I am not normal. I have a problem with food and inactivity. This is my "disease" that I HAVE to cater to every minute of everyday with the end goal being to have some peace. Yes, I didn't say to be healthy, to look good in a bathing suit, to be able to buy clothes anywhere, etc, I said to have some peace. Now I COMPLETELY want, yearn, for all of the above mentioned things, but I really want to win this battle that I've been fighting my ENTIRE LIFE. I'm exhausted from it. So, I'm living by no excuses... INO- Its Not an Option and here we go... for the LAST time! Oh yeah! I go this Sunday to talk to my parents about them *hopefully* helping to pay for my CNA training class! Its only a 40 hr class that trains you to pass the exam, so YAY.. A much needed skill. Once I get a job as a CNA, my plan is to take the 2 wk training class to become a Patient Care Tech (which tacts on at least $3/hr) and work until I go back to school in the fall be become a Medical Assistant...   Food:Breakfast (310)2 servings Special K cereal (220)1 cup skim milk (90)  Snack (260)2 TBL chunky peanut butter (190)4 celery stalks (25)1 light n fit low carb yogurt (45)  Lunch (320)4 oz chicken breast with some skin (200)1 slice sourdough bread (120)  Dinner (240)2 servings V8 Butternut Squash soup (240)  1130 so far, thinking about having a snack, but not sure yet. Depends on if I get hungry....**  1455 total ***Last night I had 1 tbl chunky peanut butter ( 95), 1 serving chocolate chips (70), 1 sf pudding (60), with 1 scoop protein powder (100) 325 total...  Sweat 10 mins on bike, strength interval program lvl 12Biggest Loser power sculpt dvd 25 min  35 mins today