no drama

Things have been rather peaceful around here - especially since the roofing and siding guys left.  The banging was something else and they took much longer than they said they would but it's now done.  Finally.  I am not happy with the general contractor because of his flippant attitude.  I told him I wasn't happy with the mess the roofers made nor that they smashed my flowers in different areas around the house.  No apologies.  Then the siding guy (he was a nice man) took nearly two weeks to complete a 3 or 4 day job.  I wouldn't have minded it if he was just plain slow but that wasn't it.  He just didn't show up for 3 days - without a phone call or explanation.  I never said a word because I really wanted him to do a good job when he was here - which he did.  The general contractor may have guessed I wasn't pleased because I took their lawn sign off of our property several times.  All I can say is I'm glad I bit my tongue because when the siding guy put our shutters up - I hated the color.  My husband and I painted them and liked them against the house down below but when the guy put them on the second floor - ugh!  He agreed and said he'd be happy to come back and put them up for us when we're ready.  *The company recognized that we've been patient so they are throwing in some extras.  
T seems to be doing much better.  He's still hanging with the same group but his demeanor is calm, he's been going to work, and he's been hanging out with his on and off girlfriend more.  I am not sure about J though.  He's been a bit moodier and is back to coming home very late.  Always something..........
Me?  What a difference.  I think I finally got it.  I don't understand what took me so long but it is what it is.  After finally letting go and realizing I couldn't control or change our son -  it hit me that I cannot change my husband either.  All this time I've been trying to convince him that we have to take a stronger stance (tough love) with our son(s) but it fell on deaf ears.  I was always so frustrated about it and worried that we were enabling our son, T, too much.  What I didn't recognize, however, is that my husband has made changes.  He isn't allowing our son, T, to manipulate him like he once did.  And because of that - I've seen a major change in T.  
I am not going to deny I am still in pain - especially since learning of J's drinking problem.  This kid has been through so much crap with his depression and other health problems when he was in high school, dabbled with alcohol and other drugs after graduating, seemed to have a major turn-around - back in college - Dean's list every semester - normal sleep patterns - pleasant to be around - great supportive wonderful girlfriend and now this.  
So I pray.........