No Breaks for the Driven

Koon has kindly said I can take a break from my 300 words if I want to-but i dont want to-its just how things have been the last couple of days.
I have gone down again-at least to a 3 but not a ive been getting up later-plus I had to go see my nurse at Waimarino on Tuesday and met up with Lisa-my peer supporty worker today.
So up at the last minute to fulfil those appointments. So no Arnie walkks either damn damn.
I want to do these extra things and feel the pressure when I dont do them.
I want to be achieving and taking care of business-and feeling good about things and me, but I am failing and feel bad about it.
Not sure what triggered this latest down.
Could be moving into new premises for work and not being able to whip outside for a smoke anymore.
Have to wait for standard breaks. Also my supervisor can see me eating at my desk when I shouldnt be-
Also I have cracked the 70kgs marker. Ivan has told me a bout a diet we can do and we must. I hate looking so solid as I did in the changing room mirror today.
I bought a new op shop top today and a new jacket on the house of Mind & Body my peer support worker's organisation.
Hope they will be good for wedding on Saturday.
Im at work now and better get on with final legit smoke.
Thanks for reading.
I will keep trying and I WILL PREVAIL