No appropriate title

Sleeping in my office
Filled out preliminary documents for mediator.
I know the past is the past. But I can't help thinking that for years she hasn't loved me. She put up with me because of the kids...I believe. That wasn't fair to me. Years of hurt and frustration and anger.
And now while I am free. Free of hope that she will recognize all the things I did to support her.
Our cats got more affection. I'm jealous of the F!@%# CATS!!!!
I'm hurt. I have these string of days where all is good and then all of a sudden i'm falling apart at work.
I just had to write it down. It has been going around in my mind for the last day. I hope this helps put it to bed. I can't change the past.