Nightmares being back in that alleyway and house

In November 2023 I went to meet this guy to tell him to stop texting me and harassing me but before I could get any words out he took me behind the back of morrisons in guiseley and started putting his hands down my trousers I tried to pull his hand away but he was still touching me down there. I don't know what I was thinking but I lit a cigarette up to stop the panic that was taking over me was it my fault I feel as it was all my fault the thing that happened in the alleyway then back at his house I just wanted to go home but he didn't want me to so I just stayed to make him happy as he was getting angry and upset with me so I was forced to do what he wanted so he didn't get more angry with me but I froze then I snapped out of that and I told him to stop but he wouldn't he pulled my legs apart and he was putting his fingers inside of me then he was licking which I had never given consent to. How can I tell my GP that it is all my fault and tell her that things are coming back to me and that she hasn't actually got a clue about all of the events that happened that night 

It has been 9 months and he is due to answer bail on the 1/8/24 and I am scared of getting the update from the officer on the case