Nightmares are back
I have talk with Al and we are in a standstill, he wants to get married and he feels a year is time enough...and he is right...but I am just not ready...which is weird because I tought I was doing so well.
We are in a weird place right now. He did said he is willing to wait...but he is hurt. And I don't know how long he will be willing to wait. My head is not in getting married right now. So deep inside I know that I might loose him.
I hardly could sleep last night, mostly nightmares, flashbacks, my ex hands on my neck choking me...just when I thought I was over the worst part...I don't know what triggered this.
Guess when one has been in to hell, hell will come back and try to take you down every now and then. I am so tired today...
We are in a weird place right now. He did said he is willing to wait...but he is hurt. And I don't know how long he will be willing to wait. My head is not in getting married right now. So deep inside I know that I might loose him.
I hardly could sleep last night, mostly nightmares, flashbacks, my ex hands on my neck choking me...just when I thought I was over the worst part...I don't know what triggered this.
Guess when one has been in to hell, hell will come back and try to take you down every now and then. I am so tired today...
Replies
This journal SCREAMS to me that you know in your heart and mind that marrying this fellow now is NOT a good idea! A year might seem like \"long enough\" but I strongly disagree. If you fear that you might lose him, that may be a sign that losing him would be a good thing!
I would NEVER succumb to pressure or his \"hurt feelings\" if I had any misgivings about making a commitment of marriage. You dont want to end up having made a mistake -- I say give this more time and a lot deeper thought. If he really loves you and wants to marry you, his love will withstand the test of time. Hugs to you.
Gotta agree with Cowgirl Kathi--don\'t be pressured into marrying just because he feels a year is \"long enough.\" You are clearly not ready to marry so don\'t do it. You will likely regret it later. If he loves you, he should be willing to wait for you.
azuca, listen to your gut telling you that you are just not ready. Like I said earlier if he can\'t give you the time that you need he may not be the one for you. How he handles this will say a lot about how he will handle future disagreements.