? nightmares?

Last night as I was waiting for sleep, I kept thinking about Michael.  I seen to re-live the day Tara found him on the couch not looking good. She called me and I rushed over to their place.  I saw him, he didnt have a pulse, I did CPR till the fire dept got there.  I seem to go over this sceen alot its like watching a bad movie over & over.  I thought it would go away after a few months but it has come back. Its like post tramatic stress syndrome.  I think.  I try to see his smile above all... tearssssssssssssss