Night Entry
I wrote this big long journal today in the middle of the day because I had some stuff on my mind, and now I don't have much to say. I just cleaned the kitchen and cooked dinner since I wrote that entry. I'm going to try and do a different format to my journals, or add in a couple sections- stress level for example. I need to focus on when I'm stressed and what's stressing me out, since most of the time I'm the last one to know.
I think that getting in touch with my emotions is going to be hard, and I'm going to have a lot to deal with. My whole life I've coped with things by just stuffing my emotions down and not dealing with them, so I have this whole life full of emotions that I need to let out. Hopefully I can deal with them well and not have like this huge flood of emotions coming out. I know I've been dealing with stuff in my dreams- that's why I've been having all these Risperdal dreams. I don't think the Risperdal is causing me to have crazy dreams, I think that it just helps me remember the dreams I've been having. I don't like knowing that all night my brain is working on the bad stuff that's been going on, but I guess that's just the way it is. At least I'm working on it somehow, I guess. Should I be happy? Who knows.
Stress/ Mood/ Sleep: Today I went for a walk and meditated a bit. I don't feel stressed, but I was fussy earlier and didn't want to sit still. I have a headache, too, so I might be hiding stress. Mood is good, I feel relieved and don't have the same cloud hanging over me that I have had the past couple of days. Sleep- I got about 11 hours last night, feel pretty good once I got up and had my coffee.
Food: I had some leftover chicken for breakfast with some coffee, a salad and some ramen for lunch, and regular dinner. I'm within my calorie range for the day, but I gained half a pound because of eating the donuts.
I think that getting in touch with my emotions is going to be hard, and I'm going to have a lot to deal with. My whole life I've coped with things by just stuffing my emotions down and not dealing with them, so I have this whole life full of emotions that I need to let out. Hopefully I can deal with them well and not have like this huge flood of emotions coming out. I know I've been dealing with stuff in my dreams- that's why I've been having all these Risperdal dreams. I don't think the Risperdal is causing me to have crazy dreams, I think that it just helps me remember the dreams I've been having. I don't like knowing that all night my brain is working on the bad stuff that's been going on, but I guess that's just the way it is. At least I'm working on it somehow, I guess. Should I be happy? Who knows.
Stress/ Mood/ Sleep: Today I went for a walk and meditated a bit. I don't feel stressed, but I was fussy earlier and didn't want to sit still. I have a headache, too, so I might be hiding stress. Mood is good, I feel relieved and don't have the same cloud hanging over me that I have had the past couple of days. Sleep- I got about 11 hours last night, feel pretty good once I got up and had my coffee.
Food: I had some leftover chicken for breakfast with some coffee, a salad and some ramen for lunch, and regular dinner. I'm within my calorie range for the day, but I gained half a pound because of eating the donuts.
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