News about my estranged father

I received a message from an uncle last night about my estranged father who ai haven't seen in going on 20 yrs. The story about my father is that mom and dad never lived together even though they were legally married for about 20 yrs. We were always moving around upon his command. My dad would visit us a few times a year, usually without prior notification. Anyway, my dad had several mistresses on the side and when my mom left my dad for good (then legally divorced him) he married one of the mistresses he kept around pretty much during their whole marriage. I think he even told my older brother or one of my uncles that he never loved my mom and always loved "her", always wanted to marry "her" all along. Anyway, my uncle sent me a message asking me if I heard the news that my father's "wife" had passed away. I don't even know how to feel or respond to that. How is a person supposed to feel? What is the proper thing to say to that? Do people in the family expect me to feel sorry for him? Or send my condolences that his "wife" died? I've always harbored anger towards my father growing up for not "manning up" to his responsibilities as a husband and father.... instead he was always running around to God only knew where with who knows. I told my uncle it was a "sad thing. 1st wife divorced, 2nd wife in the ground." I guess he is a lonely man. That's what happens to people who don't take care of their responsibilities. They end up alone.








 
 

Replies

LittleSadie
LittleSadie

My father is also estranged. He is married to a horrible woman who makes it impossible for us to make amends. But he made his choice. He chose this woman over his children. I don\'t blame you for feeling the way you feel. I think your response was just fine. Hugs, Sadie
Lauriegirl
Lauriegirl

You have the right to feel how you feel about anyone and anything.
Hugs,
Laurie.
bluesun
bluesun

Thanks for the support. Anytime someone brings up the \"dad\" topics it can\'t help but throw my mood off with a few bad memories. I don\'t know if it was all in my head or real but I was feeling pressure from a few family members that they were maybe hinting or hoping for a reconciliation between my father and \"his family\" (us). Maybe I misinterpreted what they said but maybe I didn\'t. I\'m not really sure and didn\'t really want to talk about it. I just know that for a few days I couldn\'t sleep because this had my head all over the place and feeling uneasy.

Thanks for being there for me and thank you for taking the time to read it. :)
JOYHOLY
JOYHOLY

WELL SAID, JUST FORGET ABOUT HIM, NOT WORTH YOUR TOUGHTS, HE ABANDONED YOU FOR SOMEONE ELSE SEX.
HE HAS BROUGHT NOTHING BUT SIN IN YOUR LIFE.
LOVE **