This is my first time on a support group of any kind. I have been a widow since March 28, 2016. In June we would have celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. This was our second marriage and we had found the happiness that we each had been looking for. My husband was a 3 year cancer survivor when it came back. The second time it came back with a vengeance and when discovered again it was Stage IV. We were not so lucky this time. Within the time frame of 5 weeks he was gone, all of which were spent in the hospital. I never got to bring him home as I had promised. We still had the Honeymoon banner from our hotel door on our bedroom door. I am not sure what to do now. Everything in my life was based on a life with him. I returned to my part time job and my daughter has moved back with her boyfriend. The house is big and empty and I can hardly bear it. It hurts to breathe and the tears are daily. I am a strong persona and a survivor but this brought me to my knees. I have survived a 28 year marriage with both physical, emotional abuse and cheating, the loss of a 30 year business because of the ex husband, ongoing lawsuits with my ex and the relationship loss of my oldest daughter who has chosen her father's side. I was enduring all of this because I had the most wonderful, loving, kind, honest man as my husband. Now on top of all the other I have lost him after 21 months of marriage. There is no light at the end of my tunnel today. it is not getting easier but actually harder. How can a survivor survive this?