New Years Eve

it is the last day of 2015. I had a bad year... In 2014 I was stable, out of the hospital for 2 years, volunteering on a daily basis, walking 2-3 miles a day and felt good. In 2015 I stopped walking, gained 20 pounds, barely volunteered and could barely make 1.5 miles once a week. I need to get back on track in 2016. I'm going to work on saving money... If I want to be healthy then I don't need to be spending my money on fast food and other junk. I can't buy a pecan pie because I will eat the whole pie in a day. It's a trigger food. We have no money saved for emergencies... We used to have over $1,000 but that got spent on car stuff and fast food. We would take money and not replace it. Every time we said if we got an extra check that we would put it in the car fund but it never happened. So now we are going to save $50 a month for each of us, so by the end of the year we should have $1,200 in the fund. I'm sure it's not going to happen that way but it's our goal. When the car blew a tire earlier this month the money came out of my pocket. If I didn't have that money we would not have been able to get a tire. I'm sick of living paycheck to paycheck. I want to be able to pay my medical bills and student loans without filing for bankruptcy. (student loans don't goo  away with bankruptcy anyway). I'm reading this book called "Pathways To Recovery" and it is great! It's given me hope that I will recover, be off my meds and be able to have a baby. I want to be a mother, but I'm not ready for that yet. We will see.