New Year New Goals

Well its Jan. 2nd 2018. Its a fresh New Year and If I look back at myself 7 years ago I never ever thought I would be where I am today.

I am walking after Dr.'s told me after a stroke in 2006 cause by a heart condition called wpw that was misdiagnosed as pa. I had a abalation in 2006 that same year that left me with another heart condition called svt. I am Recovered after years of depression anxiety and suicidle idleation. My Physchaitrist finally said the Words I had been so longing to hear. Recovered Borderline personality disorder. Girl Interupted was my favourite movie and now I tell everyone I am at the end of the movie

(SPOILER ALERT if you haven't seen it or read the book skip down a a paragraph

Where Suzanna Kaysen is released and better.

(SAFE to read now  if you have not seent he Movie or Read the book)

I have spent time in the mh part of our hospital locally and yes even 9 days in jail. I credit the 9 days in jail with saving my life it gave me time to really soul search and to realize just what I had EVERYTHING. A Loving Family including My critters and Husband who I credit for saving my life. If not for him I would not be here right now. Why was I injail you ask. Well the police here got tired of dealing with all the suicide attempt I made and failed at (Praise The Lord I did Fail) So they charged me with Common nusance and weapons charge because I had a butcher knofe to my throat in my home.

Those 9 days spent in solitary confinment gave Me so much time to do soul searching and praying. They treated me horribley in jail. The gaurds used to do this just to upset me including flicking lights off and on and talking right outside thet cell door of how much a "nut" I was l even though Ihad not commited technically a crime and they just charged me with something to set the ball in motion so I could get help.

I have the best Physciatrist in the world and he has guided me and helped me so Much I am so gretaful for him.

I have so many people to Thank I can not name them all. My Husband Family (including Critters) My Friends who stuck by my side because I did loose  a lot of friends from this who just marked me off as crazy. But I have gained so many new friends.

At frist I was affraid to share my past because I was affraid people would look at me and run the other way. Yes some did but those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind and truley care about me.

20 Years ago I meet a horrible horrible neanderthall (I will not call him a man) He abused me and my children so much in the short 4 years I was with him I now have ptsd. But I am not letting it(him) live in my head rent free no more. I refuse to mention his name. Spent the last 16 years venting to my Husband of things He did and made me do that you wouldn't even have a nightmare about.

Everyone tells me I shoud write a book. SO that is what I amd oing this year I am writing my story from broken to Beautiful from Caterpillar to Butterfly.

Thank You Thank You Thank You to Everyone Who has Always been there for Me and Continues to Be there for Me Yawl know who you are XOXOXOXO As Well As My Angels In Heaven (Loved ones we lost including critters) 

I could never have imaged life ever being this Awesome and I just wanted to let everyone know. If I can imagered through the ash's and rise then so can you. It does get better, its okay to cry and get angry, yell, shout, hit a pillow. Its okay to have set backs just pick yourself up and try again. I Love You ALl and If any anytime need to talk I am here. Just Message Me :)

Our Greatest Glory Lies In Never Falling but In Rising Everytime We Fall.

She conquered her demons and wore her scares like angel wings.

Just a few of my Favourite quotes

(Sorry for spelling I did not speel or grammer check this it's just straight from the Heart. XO