New Week
The weekend was uneventful. I did some instacarting Sat and Sun did nothing. I was having a bad day yesterday starting to second guess my decision. Trying to stay in the present lane for now untill the Corona Drama wraps up.
I was missing and concerned for Roomie- he has a bad toothache and concerned he is letting it go to long and it has been impossible for him to find a dentist. I know....I need to let him handle it.
When did I want so much to be a savior? Im just in a corona tizzy i guess. The more isolated I am the less I look forward to being around people. We were invited to a seafood boil next weekend. I personally dont want to go and it gives Joe another reason to get plastered. I wonder what he would so if I told him I did not want to go. He went on and on about how these people pissed him off and then turns around and wants to go to a party.....Im just not the party type I guess. Thanks but no thanks.
I dont know whats wrong with me...guess my fuse is short because things about Joe really irritates me. Ive always been uber responsible...hes not..hes not a preparer and hes scattered. I thought i was a fly by the seater...but nothing compared to him. Maybe its just me....
Replies
I think you are fine....You are making decisions that are in your bests interests and not someone else's....
You are learning to control yourself and are less inclined to allow others to control you, and if you want to isolate, that's ok too! It's the mind's way of re orientating itself in a new direction based on what you want to do instead of what someone wants you to do, and you are in a sense rejecting outside influences to contaminate that process. ...
You are keeping your power instead of giving it away! Think you are ok.
The list of what's wrong with me is pretty staggering. Worse, when I am in self-loathing mode, my greatest strengths keep making the Wrong List. Well. . . I have been known to use my greatest strengths badly, so ? ? ? Maybe I really do deserve all those black eyes I keep giving myself.
Dunno. . . Sometimes I believe life is a question of balance and I should never make a what's wrong with me list without making a what's right with me list to balance the equation. Not even ***I*** can get them **ALL** wrong. 100% anything is rare in nature.