New to this!

I've always wondered if things would change. if i could help him change. it seems im on of the reasons for his drinking. how can i be the cause? im his wife, best friend, mother of his son, support system. in the past fews years the drinking would slow down and at the blink of an eye it came back! i dont know why i blame myself! i stay so uptight, trying to redirect when he is in a mood so the kids dont see. its not what i want for my kids to think its normal :( im at a loss but im going to continue to pray! i need someone to remind me the better are to come!