new to the whole divorce

I have been with my wife for 19 years and married 15 of those, we were young parents "madlyin love " we got married for all the wrong reasons and never really got our lives in order.  I worked all kinds of crazy hours and she was very jelous of any woman i talked to, we never really worked through our issues, we just swept them under the rug for a later date thst never came. 

 I can tell you this does not work ! We always talked about trying counseling and never did up until she filed for divorce. A little too late in the game, she was dead set in her mind this wasn't going to work out. JUst seemed to buy time to get her affairs in order, now we just kive togther with the kids waitng to get things rolling in court and get the house sold and so on.  know im leaving a lot out at the moment, just gettting things off my chest, i still have lots of feelings that i am trying to sepreate from for my stb ex. I still love her with all my heart but i also know this will not work on a one sided relationship. How do people keep emotions out of all the divorce and be civil? I try my best but its very hard everyday seeing her and  her talking like nothing is going on and seem to have no feelings about the hole thing.