New to DS and needing advice

Hi Everyone! I am new to daily strength. My family consists of my 5 1/2 year old daughter, 2 year old son, and husband. My husband works long hours and is always gone by 4am everyday. With my daughter in Kindergarten this year, she and I are struggling with getting ready in the morning. It takes an 1 1/2 hours to get ready...this does not include breakfast...which on a bad morning is a breakfast bar in the car on the way to school. My daughter has SPD. It takes everything she and I have to get her ready. We use visual picture maps which helps some, but some mornings my daughter can't regulate well enough to follow the maps. My son somtimes sleeps through this morning agony (thank God!), but when he doesn't I just have to leave him in his room...sometimes he stands at the door and cries for me...but I don't have time to address his needs if I want to get my daughter to school on time. Getting up earlier doesn't matter...we are still just as stressed. Does anyone have a morning routine that works well for them and their child? A specific landmine is my daughter's hair. She hates having to get it wet and blow dried, but she has extremely crazy hair with several cow licks. She had longer hair to pull down the crazy cow licks, but the length irritated her or fixing it to get it away from her face was another fight. The salon we go to suggested short hair, but now we have to wet it down and blow dry it. We went back to the salon and they suggested we grow it out to shoulder length...but that's where we were 4 months ago. Please help! Thanks.