New stuff
I think it's about time for a new journal entry so here it is. Things have changed a bit since my last entry but not really that much. I'm still waiting for section 8 housing but I'm not holding my breath on that one it could be a really long time. If I used up the funds that I have I will have to go back to work and I'm just not sure I'm ready for that. If I keep spending the way I am I won't have a choice. My rent is paid until August so once I get past Christmas I really won't have to spend anything other than groceries, electricity, cable, internet etc. Customary bills.
I have some bad news though I did start drinking again. I am a recovering drug addict and alcoholic and that's scary once I stopped and thought about it and my sponsor pointed out some things to me that really made me stop and think about what i was doing. One being that if I didn't stop I would end up homeless and eventually it would kill me. I have a really great sponsor that .seems to care about me and has my best interest at heart. She has also become a good friend and some one I confide in. She is helping me work the steps in AA and it's been a huge help to me in trying to stay sober. Today would have been my four year anniversary but I blew it and I have to deal with that reality. That doesn't mean that I have to drink again, but sometimes it's a real struggle.
There isn't much else to say right now, I doubt anyone will even read this but I think it helps me and besides it's late on a Sunday night and there isn't anything else to do. I really hate Sunday evenings, even afternoons and I always have for some reason, I think they make me depressed because it's such a family time and I don't have one of my own. I never had kids and the one I helped raise for a short time has lost all contact with me. Well that's all for now.
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I have some bad news though I did start drinking again. I am a recovering drug addict and alcoholic and that's scary once I stopped and thought about it and my sponsor pointed out some things to me that really made me stop and think about what i was doing. One being that if I didn't stop I would end up homeless and eventually it would kill me. I have a really great sponsor that .seems to care about me and has my best interest at heart. She has also become a good friend and some one I confide in. She is helping me work the steps in AA and it's been a huge help to me in trying to stay sober. Today would have been my four year anniversary but I blew it and I have to deal with that reality. That doesn't mean that I have to drink again, but sometimes it's a real struggle.
There isn't much else to say right now, I doubt anyone will even read this but I think it helps me and besides it's late on a Sunday night and there isn't anything else to do. I really hate Sunday evenings, even afternoons and I always have for some reason, I think they make me depressed because it's such a family time and I don't have one of my own. I never had kids and the one I helped raise for a short time has lost all contact with me. Well that's all for now.
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Replies
hi christopher...i think you are doing everything right to take back your life...im glad you and your sponsor are working on things together...i just want you to know i\'m proud of you for your honesty...keep up the great work (((hugs)))
Hi,I am glad you continue on working on staying sober,It cant be easy.The important thing is you done it for 4 years and can do it again,It proves you are a strong person.Sometimes being strong its hard when we have week moments.Dont down your self.You are only human.
I read it and I understand I\'m a recovering alcoholic as well and I know what a struggle it can be. Don\'t beat yourself up over it that doesn\'t accomplish anything except making you miserable. Hang in there I know you can do it, if I can anyone can I was totaly hopeless and a lost cause but God set me free from that horrible life and I know he will fror you too.