new stage

Yesterday the attendance woman at the school called.  T had a bad headache.  I figured it was probably due to his messed up schedule with his medication.  So with an hour left at the end of the day - I get him at school and he comes home and plays basketball.  Some headache.  I figured since he was well enough to play basketball and make plans with friends, he could go to his counselling session for 45 minutes before doing anything.  Not.  I told him he didn't have to go anymore but he had to that day because we can't cancel last minute.  He threw a fit and swore at me.  I went to the session myself.  Even though I know not to engage with him when he acts like this, I needed to hear it.  I needed to talk to his counselor to reinforce it.  Being that T will be 18 in July (but acts like a 12 year old) I need to step back.  My husband and I must continue to be a unite front (I have to remind my hubby on a regular basis).  T knows not to ask me for anything right now and so he goes to my hubby, as usual, for favors.  I was upset (although hubby doesn't know the degree of it) that he didn't talk to T about his bad behavior.  I had to ask him to.  He needed to tell T how inappropriate he was and disrespectful.  He finally did.  The counselor just told me to disengage and not to get caught up in the drama.  I know that but sometimes I slip.  It's been smooth sailing for some time now and this latest behavior just threw me off, I guess.