New Purpose?

Geo and I had a discussion the other day and he said that I'm letting my bipolar define me. I guess I do, since I'm always joking about how crazy I am and stuff. I need to find a new purpose in life, a new meaning. I'm thinking about my purpose is to get off disability and find a job I like that I can do. I do well at most jobs if I'm put in a position where I can do well- Vonage sales had me standing all day, which I couldn't really do. I did good at my job, but the physical demands were too bad. Mostly, though, I've been giving up too easy. I haven't been going into volunteering if I don't feel like it. I need to start going whether I feel like it or not. Geo hasn't helped me, telling me to stay home if I don't want to go. But then I feel like a failure. I need to figure out what I can do to make myself want to go in. They said they are going to keep me at the Information Desk until the call center is open, and then I will move to there. I know I can do the call center.. I used to call people for them and make appointments. That's not going to be the problem. the problem is to keep my motivation going for me to go to work. When you aren't making money, there isn't that tying you down. Even if I was getting paid, it wouldn't be too much. I can't make too much while on disability. One of my friends suggested that I should talk to SSA and see if they have a place for me to work, and that might be something I might do. Someplace where they understand people with disabilities. 
I need to try and be a more positive person as well. I always have something to complain about, and that's not good. I need to focus more on the good things, like being able to volunteer in the first place. I always feel like I have it the worst of everyone around me, so that gives me full right to complain. But that's not the truth... There are people everywhere who have it worse than I do and they carry on. I should try and think of 3 things a day that happened that was good and list them to count my blessings. Today- I was able to run .35 miles on my Tabata training; I cooked a good dinner (chicken breast stuffed with cheese and bacon); and I got to take a nice long nap. I was in a good mood overall today, just feeling a bit lazy. But I got my stuff done. I'm going to try and write journals here more often again.. I've been doing them on Spark People and not wanting to re-do them again here. Oh well, we will see how that goes!