New Poem *May Trigger-Suicide related*
Well it's been a while since I wrote a poem and I've just finished this one so I thought i'd post it in my journal. Please be aware though it contains the subject of suicide and so may be triggering for some people. Please be safe before reading this.
Suicidal TendenciesWhere do I start? How to explain?I am overwhelmed, and in emotional pain.I‘m tired now, I can’t go on,I’ve been fighting hard but it’s been too long.I know this will be hard, for those who care,To understand how life could become to much to bare.So let me try and help you seeWhat the last few months have been like for me.* * * *Darkness once again is closing in,It wont be long before those thoughts begin.As my smile fades and the tears start to fall,I am suddenly trapped by this invisible wall.I isolate myself and I feel so alone,But I am a burden so I’m best on my own.No love for myself, there’s only hate,And it’s seems that now, it’s just too late.My emotions become intense, my thoughts unclear,All hope is drained and replaced by fear.Then that voice, it’s everywhere I go,Those suicidal thoughts and the urges grow.When I’m near an edge, I want to fall,As I take my pills, I want to down them all.Standing on the curb, I could just step out,Talk calm and quiet, but I want to shout.A train goes by, please pull me under,Will this bus crash? I often wonder.Walk over a bridge and the river beckons,Try to hold my breath, for just a few more seconds.A gun is final but a messy end,Should I do it alone, or make a pact with a friend?Hooks on doors would they hold my weight?My head says do it but my heart says wait.So please believe me when I say that I’ve tried,To cope with living with this demon inside.I’ve battled each day and tried to persist,But it’s now consumed me and I cease to exist.So what would you do if you were feeling this way?Self hate and despair nearly every day.How long could you last with this internal voice?Would you want to stop it if you had the choice?So while the edge of the blade tempts me to bleed,I write this letter for loved ones to read.I know, no words can ever make this ok,But I sincerely hope you can forgive me one day.
x-Bliss-x
Suicidal TendenciesWhere do I start? How to explain?I am overwhelmed, and in emotional pain.I‘m tired now, I can’t go on,I’ve been fighting hard but it’s been too long.I know this will be hard, for those who care,To understand how life could become to much to bare.So let me try and help you seeWhat the last few months have been like for me.* * * *Darkness once again is closing in,It wont be long before those thoughts begin.As my smile fades and the tears start to fall,I am suddenly trapped by this invisible wall.I isolate myself and I feel so alone,But I am a burden so I’m best on my own.No love for myself, there’s only hate,And it’s seems that now, it’s just too late.My emotions become intense, my thoughts unclear,All hope is drained and replaced by fear.Then that voice, it’s everywhere I go,Those suicidal thoughts and the urges grow.When I’m near an edge, I want to fall,As I take my pills, I want to down them all.Standing on the curb, I could just step out,Talk calm and quiet, but I want to shout.A train goes by, please pull me under,Will this bus crash? I often wonder.Walk over a bridge and the river beckons,Try to hold my breath, for just a few more seconds.A gun is final but a messy end,Should I do it alone, or make a pact with a friend?Hooks on doors would they hold my weight?My head says do it but my heart says wait.So please believe me when I say that I’ve tried,To cope with living with this demon inside.I’ve battled each day and tried to persist,But it’s now consumed me and I cease to exist.So what would you do if you were feeling this way?Self hate and despair nearly every day.How long could you last with this internal voice?Would you want to stop it if you had the choice?So while the edge of the blade tempts me to bleed,I write this letter for loved ones to read.I know, no words can ever make this ok,But I sincerely hope you can forgive me one day.
x-Bliss-x
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