new plan
Every other night T has been walking in the before 1. Although I had it in writing and talked to him - I'm not sure if it's purposeful selective hearing or I wasn't clear enough. He says he heard that if he's not home by 1AM on any given night - then he's not allowed home on that night. I told him no - once he's out past 1 - he's done - can't come back AT ALL until he decides to follow ALL of our simple rules and one being - home at 1 EVERY NIGHT. And, of course, it isn't just about that. It's about the drugs. Ideally, I would prefer that my husband insist that drug testing be included in it (I've mentioned drug testing to T) but I honestly cannot see him doing that.
We need a new counselor. This guy isn't what I thought he would be. He seemed great during our first round of crisis but now -- he looks at me like I should know how to handle this. In my head - I do - but my heart - it needs a little prodding. From what I'm told from other experts - we should be seeing this guy every week. When I suggested it both he and my husband looked at me weird. The counselor said "Why? For emotional support?" Well - yes and some direction....... hello?
We need a new counselor. This guy isn't what I thought he would be. He seemed great during our first round of crisis but now -- he looks at me like I should know how to handle this. In my head - I do - but my heart - it needs a little prodding. From what I'm told from other experts - we should be seeing this guy every week. When I suggested it both he and my husband looked at me weird. The counselor said "Why? For emotional support?" Well - yes and some direction....... hello?
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Stick with your instincts here. You obviously smell a rat. My son has squirmed out of so many situations with that \" I thought you meant...\" or \"you didn\'t say that, you said....\" . Therapist said basically it\'s all BS and it\'s another form of manipulation, although she did clarify that it is important that all rules be stated clearly. We have written house rules down many times, and put them on the fridge, and had him sign them. That was long ago. This last time we wrote rules down, he tore up the paper in front of the Therapist. Addicts manipulate, and this attempt to make it look like you didn\'t communicate well needs to be shot down. Kudos for you for taking a closer look at the counselor. An addiction specialist may be needed.
Lucky for my son - he has a little reprieve. I told my husband that the two of us need to sit down together and come up with a plan and then stick to it. I will start writing down the plan before we sit down together. Talk about \"prodding\" - if it were up to him..... nothing would get done. On the other hand - he\'s willing and that\'s a good thing.
Caution, this is not something you should do on your own; it will be flung back that this was your \"fault\" if and when things go from bad to worse with your son! Reconsider, set aside time together to hash this out.....I am thinking of you and hoping for a positive change in your son\'s life!! TAKE CARE!!
I have thought about that. I think once we agree and come up with something - I do want to review it with a professional. Haven\'t found the right person yet to do it.