New Motivation
Still going with my meal plan. Only and two blips in 3 weeks. Finding dealing with putting on weight hard at the moment although I've got even more motivation that at the start now to do this -! for myself !-All along I've been saying I'm only doing this for family and that would have to be enough until I was able to want it for myself, I think I finally am starting to want this for myself. It doesn't take away the fact that it's extremely hard to cope with, and things are only going to get worse as I put on weight because I'll have to deal with the depression soon and all my thinking patterns but without going back to restricting. There is still such a long way to go and a hell of a lot of work I need to do on my confidence, body image, and insecurity but at least now I think I really WANT to.A major factor in me thinking in this way has been just seeing the even after the shitheads my Mum has been with in the past, she's found someone who is making her happy at the moment. As well as the introduction of my new 'step sister'. It's made me realise that I want this for myself. My life for the past couple of years has been so focused on people around me. If things around me wern't going well, I wasn't doing well. When things were settled, I was better. I've been living according to my surroundings because really I haven't HAD a life the past 2 years. Dealing with depression and then anorexia but I want to get over this and get my own life back. I want a family and kids at some point and I'm not going to get it unless I work for it and sort myself out. I'm not saying everything is plane sailing now I have some motivation but it's just something that is going to keep me on this path that I have been on for the past 3 weeks.
Replies
Wow it sounds like you have gained a lot of insight in the past weeks. I\'m so happy you are feeling better and are keeping up your meal plan. Believe me I know what you are dealing with. Body image is a big one for me too, but my life is worth so much more than being skinny. I\'m really happy you are doing this for yourself.