I am at a point in my life right now where I can't stop. If its not my pancreas, it's stress . . . which causes my pancreas to freak out. I am five weeks out of the hospital after a 13 day stay and dealing with a smart-ass new hospitalist who insisted that nothing was wrong with me because imaging and labs showed nothing wrong. Even though, as I'm sure some of you know and if you don't already, means nothing. Thank God I had one nurse who is a role model for all health care professionals and advocated for me to said doctor. After nine days at the local hospital, I was transfered down to my specialist at IU and had an ERCP. The ERCP showed that my minor papilla was completly shut and my biliary pressures were severly scarred and the pressures there were through the roof. Now, I'm completely off of PO narcotics but still on the fentynal patch. I have spent the last couple days with out the patch and realized that I am not yet ready to go with out. Nor am I ready for a solid diet. Soup and protein bars seem to be the way to go for now. I am still dependant on ambien to sleep though. Not sure if anybody else has noticed their pain levels increasing at night but, mine become horrible and ambien is the only way to get a decent nights sleep. In much happier news though, I am back in school for the third time. I am bound and determined to not let my illness get in the way of my dreams any more. those dreams by the way have changed during this last hospitalization. After dealing with the hospitalist who was a know it all, I decided that I can be a much better doctor and having delt with all that I have, I want to help people who have been through what I have. I just think people need somebody in charge of their health who genuinely cares. I've been through so much shit and know what others go through. I just can't let this get in the way anymore. I am trying to get an appoinment with a pain specialist to explore the option of a pain pump. I hope he will agree with me that this is a sound option given my current state.