New doctor doldrums...
So, I went to my regular OB's office for the first pre-natal appointment following my successful IVF cycle. Now, I shouldn't be complaining, I know... I should just be grateful & overjoyed that my 1st round of IVF worked and I've "graduated" from my RE's office (and with any luck, never to return)! But what I'm feeling is a degree of disappointment for a number of reasons...
1. I met with a nurse midwife today. He's nice enough and has been doing this for a long time, but that caused our meeting to feel as if he was just "going through the motions." Doing something he's done with hundreds, probably thousands, of women before me. It didn't feel special or customized to my specific medical issues or history.
2. The office I go to doesn't assign you to a particular OB. You rotate through all the doctors in the practice. (According to the midwife, this is because you could end up with any one of them on delivery day, and they want you to feel comfortable with all the docs). I can't decide if I think this is a good policy or if it's impersonal. I also wonder how common it is.
3. I found out I won't have another u/s (unless there's some sort of serious problem) until 20 weeks!!!!! I've only had ONE u/s at 6 weeks, and technically I paid for that in full, since it was during the end of my stint with the RE and still part of my IVF cycle. Really?! Insurance can't throw me a bone and give me some care/coverage, now that I finally AM pregnant?!?! Again, I understand the rationale. I'm being treated like any other pregnant patient at this point. ...But the problem is, I don't FEEL like a regular pregnant patient! They don't share the experience -- the rollercoaster with twists and turns and steep, stomach-churning drops -- that us IF gals do. Also, I'm one of those "advanced maternal age" gals, and I wish they'd treat me with a little more care, rather than just scaring me with all the associated risks of pregnancy over 35.
4. And of course there's the terrifying battalion of tests you can opt to have. Can I ask what you ladies have done? Are you having an amniocentesis? CVS? The risk of miscarriage horrifies me, so I'm wondering if the cell-free DNA blood test adequately substitutes for those other diagnostic (and sometimes dangerous) tests.
I left feeling mildly happy that I'm being treated like a "normal" pregnancy, but mostly feeling like I needed a hug. :(
1. I met with a nurse midwife today. He's nice enough and has been doing this for a long time, but that caused our meeting to feel as if he was just "going through the motions." Doing something he's done with hundreds, probably thousands, of women before me. It didn't feel special or customized to my specific medical issues or history.
2. The office I go to doesn't assign you to a particular OB. You rotate through all the doctors in the practice. (According to the midwife, this is because you could end up with any one of them on delivery day, and they want you to feel comfortable with all the docs). I can't decide if I think this is a good policy or if it's impersonal. I also wonder how common it is.
3. I found out I won't have another u/s (unless there's some sort of serious problem) until 20 weeks!!!!! I've only had ONE u/s at 6 weeks, and technically I paid for that in full, since it was during the end of my stint with the RE and still part of my IVF cycle. Really?! Insurance can't throw me a bone and give me some care/coverage, now that I finally AM pregnant?!?! Again, I understand the rationale. I'm being treated like any other pregnant patient at this point. ...But the problem is, I don't FEEL like a regular pregnant patient! They don't share the experience -- the rollercoaster with twists and turns and steep, stomach-churning drops -- that us IF gals do. Also, I'm one of those "advanced maternal age" gals, and I wish they'd treat me with a little more care, rather than just scaring me with all the associated risks of pregnancy over 35.
4. And of course there's the terrifying battalion of tests you can opt to have. Can I ask what you ladies have done? Are you having an amniocentesis? CVS? The risk of miscarriage horrifies me, so I'm wondering if the cell-free DNA blood test adequately substitutes for those other diagnostic (and sometimes dangerous) tests.
I left feeling mildly happy that I'm being treated like a "normal" pregnancy, but mostly feeling like I needed a hug. :(
Replies
*HUG* Does that help? :)
I\'m part of a large practice, so I see multiple doctors as well. Yes, it feels a bit impersonal, but I also understand it\'s the nature of the practice. The original OB I wanted to see was the same way, but she was also connected with midwives, who would see me through my entire pregnancy. Is that how your office operates?
Not having another ultrasound until you\'re 20 weeks sounds a little odd to me. I get more because I\'m a high-risk pregnancy, but I\'ve seen other women post on here following their 12-week ultrasounds. I\'d inquire about this ... especially if you\'re an \"advanced maternal ager.\" I\'d think they\'d want to see you more in that case or assign you to an MFM.
Not sure if this helped. Remember that you\'re your biggest health advocate. If you feel something isn\'t right, say so or seek another OB. Good luck!
BIG HuG! I 100% get everything you just posted because I experienced pretty much the same thing on thurs with my first OB visit. I did not handle it well and started hysterically crying. My practice is the same where they want you to meet everyone because you won\'t know who will actually delivery you till that day. My first time around I ranked them from who I wanted to do it and who I would rather not. Lol there really wasn\'t one that I could say I hated so that made me feel a little better. The day off I got the person I ranked 3rd from last and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. She was AMAZING! I had a little scare w the heart rate and I almost had to have an emergency section but she was able to tell me all this calmy and not scare me into jumping into something I didn\'t want or were prepared for. She stopped & put everything down and just said ok let\'s talk about it. I appreciated it so much and I hope your first time you get someone as amazing! Try not to worry too much about that part. As for the u/s that\'s where I pretty much lost it as well! I\'m 12 weeks now & they said they weren\'t going to do another u/s till 18 wks for the full anatomy scan because it wasn\'t needed. But if I opted to get the Down syndrome check where they take blood, they also check the neck on the u/s. I\'m not getting that done because I already had it done during my genetic testing of the embryo. Did they give you that option? That is done between 11-14 wks I think? Amino is done around 18wks? Personally if I had the choice between the two I would do the blood over the amnio because of the risk of miscarriage. That I\'m not willing to take. I had the blood one done last time and they don\'t even tell you yes or no it\'s more of a percentage of how probable your baby is to having Down syndrome. But I agree 100% with hineschica, you have to be your own advocate and if you are not happy you should tell them and pretty much demand it if you feel strongly about it. I\'m pretty sure the dr I met with (who was new to the practice) is making deals right now hoping that he doesn\'t have to do my delivery cause I think I scared the crap out of him cause I definitely voiced how unhappy I was w that visit. Lol my next appointment is in 4 wks and I made sure it was w the dr you gets me and my nervousness and I can have a re-do of my first ob visit. Cause it\'s exactly like you said it\'s not the same one on one feeling that you have with someone who knows your case & not make you feel like you are an over exaggerated emotional preggo. He read my chart and knows my story but he doesn\'t know me ;) good luck! I hope your next visits are better!!!
Big hugs!
From what I hear, you really don\'t see the Dr much during labor and delivery. You do see the nurses a ton, so pick a hospital that has a good reputation. Labor nurses are typically super nice and helpful and should be comforting. The process of seeing many Dr\'s during your pre-natal care sounds kind of cool. I can understand your worry but overall, you may find it\'s better.
Not having an US till 20 weeks is nuts! Will you still see the Dr or nurse every month? If so, you will get to hear the heartbeat at every appointment. That is a beautiful sound and very reassuring. The 12 week scan and blood test is the first of the early risk assessments. The results should tell you if you need to bother with the extra round 2 tests. I would push for that 12 week scan and ask why you aren\'t being treated as high risk. If they say you are, insurance should have to cover it. At least being high risk before 20 weeks, then they can relax a bit.
Being \"normal\" is fantastic. But at first, very scary. We are so used to close monitoring and making sure everything is OK, so being so laid back so quickly is a shock! Hang in there, Momma!
MRSstrong is right, you only see your doc at the end of labor. They essentially catch baby, check to make sure you are good and then that\'s it. Its really the L&D nurses who do most of the work. They even start the pushing process with you.
I think its standard for any multi doc practice that you see a different doc for each appointment so that you have met them all. I go to a single doc practice and love that I see her every appointment. BUT, there is a good chance that I will be having some doc I have never met, actually perform my C-section as my doc just finished her last stint for the month as the on call doc at our hospital. So you have to think of that too. They both have their pros and cons... having an impersonal experience of a different doctor every month, or seeing the same doc every apt and having the chance they wont be there for your delivery and you will have someone you have never seen before.
I also think its standard to have an ultrasound in the 1st trimester and then one around 20 weeks for the anatomy scan and then a scan closer to your due date and that\'s about it. That is unless you are high risk. Being pregnant with twins I get to see mine monthly. I would definitely ask about being high risk or needing to see an MFM.
But, bottom line... if you are not comfy there, and you are not liking the docs, find another practice! Do what is right for you and your little one.
Good luck!
This sounds as if I typed this!! My OB office is the same way. My actual OB doctor will not be delivery the baby unless I become high risk or need a C-section. Since becoming pregnant through IVF, (I\'m 18wks now) I have not seen the same person. I too think it\'s a bit impersonal but I also think it is pretty routine in most offices. I say if you are not feeling right about check into another OB. I opted not to have any test done. Some or a lot of the test doesn\'t give you 100% anyway, so I would be hesistant on doing something about it if there were something MAYBE wrong. But everyone is different on how they feel about it. Good luck and do what feels right for you! Best of luck :D
I think a lot of practices do the rotation bit. I saw the same doc all through my fertility stuff, and was scheduled to see him at my 8 week appointment, but they have shuffled me to a nurse midwife since the miscarriage. Actually I like her a lot better, she is giving me way more detailed, personalized attention. I feel like since we are over 35 we are considered \"high risk\" and you should be getting more attention. Maybe you can talk to your insurance company? Hugs.