New Dance Steps
Hubs and I seem to be getting allot of calming mileage out of our Dance Analogies. As we Eggshell Waltz our way through the mysteries of allowing adult children to sort their own romantic confusions and loving grandchildren who are in CPS protective custody as a result of those romantic confusions, we are talking allot about learning new steps to the dance in our own approach to each other and the dancers with whom we share the dance floor. The GK parents, other grandparents and all the other adults in the community can watch their own dance steps. A recent analogy between Hubs and I is, "Working out the coreography" for the dances which are new to us. CPS protective custody certainly fits that analogy.
Hubs still has three bee yards near the Urban Homestead and no reliable support to tend the yards while he is away. His ladies are calling and he feels the need to answer. There is superb beekeeping weather going on this weekend, so he is headed that way to answer the call of his queens and their minions. For the sake of avoiding the step where we feed one another's anxiety levels, I am going to stay here at the farm while Hubs tends his bees. We are still clueless how to deal with the patriarch who is currently holding the protective custody reigns, but we both solidly believe his adherance to Spanish Patriarchal Traditions makes it better for Hubs to handle TP. (The Patriarch) In Hubs I trust, with prayers that my trust does not end in taking snipe shots at whatever comes out of his best guesses.
A weird psycho-quirk from this bizarre new dance is that whenever I am pissed at TP, my thoughts slip into Spanish and cursing him with the creative cussing I learned in Ecuador, Bolivia and Peru. All 3 of those countries have especially colorful curses for the Mexican gang lords of the U.S. barrios, most especially for their interpretations of Colonial Conquistidor Traditions. They have a different set of curses for the other Hispanic gang lords of the U.S., but that is a separate rant in Spanish. This is Texas and Mexicans are the ruling majority here and in Spanish, it is dangerous to mistake a Mexican for another Central American, much less a South American or Caribean Islander.
Moving on from that body of not-mine-to-sort confusion. . . Mine to sort in that mess is *just* a psycho tick or 50. The GKs are too young to understand any of those politics and we don't even know if TP will allow us to know them when they are old enough to be confused by ^it^. Well. . . Maybe? ? ? GS is five. I wonder if he is already calling his father's branch of their family tree, "The Gringos" when he is talking to the other grandparents. Their use of the g-word is quite prolific and 5 is plenty old enough to pronounce the word. His little sister (almost 3) is old enough to be experimenting with what she hears. They are also old enough to be wondering at sudden language changes when a wrong color person enters the room.
Seriously moving on now. . .
I hope I am at the front end of another painting binge. I started painting the trim on the new doors and windows of the honey barn yesterday. The dark brown I chose for the trim really sets a pleasing contrast to the sand color of the exterior brick.
Replies
I enjoy reading your journals, tho I am still learning your acronyms. Haha. I feel like I see a little more of your soul with each journal you post. Thank you for sharing yourself. Painting has always been therapeutic for me, the physical motion but also certain colours and colour pallets can really calm me down.
Love and all is coming
In the case of therapy journaling, the acronyms protect privacy. However mad I am at the people in my life, they don't deserve to have their privacy under internet scrutiny.
Art therapy with painting never worked for me, but freshly painted surfaces rock my world. Add in weather as purty as I am enjoying today and it's good therapy for every sense in my broken life. Especially when it serves as finishing touches on a project that started with serving eviction notices to resident wildlife. Those new door and window frames feel like quite an accomplishment. Maybe even the spiffiest honey barn I've ever toured, even though it isn't anywhere near the biggest. It isn't the smallest, either.
I understand that. I can see that is what you are doing. It's just taking me a sec to figure out what relationships to which you are referring. I admire your commitment to privacy. Art therapy with painting never did it for me either. When I was painting, it was houses, interiors and exteriors.
That sounds like it was a difficult but fulfilling project. Be proud of your spiffy barn!!! Also I think it's really cool that you have bees.
Also, I don't know the details of the situation but my heart goes out to you for dealing the TP. I am so impressed with the way you talk about the situation you are in. Patriarchy boils my blood. Your calm demeanor about it is inspiring.
My calm demeanor is ALLOT of therapy work, Tonisora. By nature, I find it much more efficient to just tear a new asshole and be done with ^it^.
Gender domination boils my blood, be it matriarchal or patriarchal. Dominators, of both genders trigger my fight or flight instincts. Those who demand respect will never command respect. Color me gone. Good luck with your schemes, Oh Dominant One. Go ahead and start without me. Block my exit at your own, strictly personal risk.
The skills to lead a family, business and/or culture well are not gender traits. I vote we keep all that above the zipper. Just a vote, but. . . I didn't vote for Trump, either. Shrug-a-lug. Life goes on.
Still, there is much to be said for trusting in a single voice. No matter how well people agree, it gets too drawn-out and confusing when everybody has to say ^it^ their own way. I'm glad hubs and I learned how to trust one another on that score. Since we trade off with comparative grace, it eases the aggravation of dealing with gender dominators. He handles The Patriarchs and I handle The Matriarchs. It's a tough measure, but I think he has the easier part of that trade-off. There seem to be more women than men in charge these days.