New Beginnings
Dear John,
It is almost two years since you have been gone. Heather and the kids moved into our house a few weeks ago. Today she had a garage sale with all our memories passed onto others. I went to the house yesterday laid on your favorite chaise lounge and cried like a baby. The house was so empty just me and my memories. Went back today and shocked everyone I guess I just needed closure. Lexi and Maddox are so happy in our house. The house has become full of life again. Heather said they are always outside in the huge yard playing in their playhouses and a fort will be made for Maddox soon. They even rode the bus to school in the morning yesterday the first time Alexa has ever done that. Even though it is the same neighborhood and bus she has rode home in the evening since she started kindergarten. The bus driver had forgetten about them and the kids reminded her so she turned around and went pick them up. She was so proud of them. Joy and happiness has returned to their faces. You would have never guessed that in the past two years they have lost their loving grandfather, and became children of divorced parents. It was so good to see Lexi's room she has all of her animals on her bed guarding and protecting her bed she says. And Maddox says he loves his big room he can keep it clean cause there is room for everything. Your bike is still hung up in the garage guess that is something we will never part with as that is the last thing you were alive on. Writing this is almost as hard as it was the day I came home and saw you in the yard. I relive that day often. Wishing I would have come home sooner or you wouldn't have gone ride your bike. But the fact remains when it is your time it doesn't matter where you are I am just glad that you made it home and died in our yard that you loved. The tears are flowing baby and I know you want me to be happy and I am. It is just that what we had was something that most people only dream about. Sometimes it hurts so much . . . No I won't go there, just remember I will always love you and know that you are watching over me, our kids and grandkids. Love you, Dra
It is almost two years since you have been gone. Heather and the kids moved into our house a few weeks ago. Today she had a garage sale with all our memories passed onto others. I went to the house yesterday laid on your favorite chaise lounge and cried like a baby. The house was so empty just me and my memories. Went back today and shocked everyone I guess I just needed closure. Lexi and Maddox are so happy in our house. The house has become full of life again. Heather said they are always outside in the huge yard playing in their playhouses and a fort will be made for Maddox soon. They even rode the bus to school in the morning yesterday the first time Alexa has ever done that. Even though it is the same neighborhood and bus she has rode home in the evening since she started kindergarten. The bus driver had forgetten about them and the kids reminded her so she turned around and went pick them up. She was so proud of them. Joy and happiness has returned to their faces. You would have never guessed that in the past two years they have lost their loving grandfather, and became children of divorced parents. It was so good to see Lexi's room she has all of her animals on her bed guarding and protecting her bed she says. And Maddox says he loves his big room he can keep it clean cause there is room for everything. Your bike is still hung up in the garage guess that is something we will never part with as that is the last thing you were alive on. Writing this is almost as hard as it was the day I came home and saw you in the yard. I relive that day often. Wishing I would have come home sooner or you wouldn't have gone ride your bike. But the fact remains when it is your time it doesn't matter where you are I am just glad that you made it home and died in our yard that you loved. The tears are flowing baby and I know you want me to be happy and I am. It is just that what we had was something that most people only dream about. Sometimes it hurts so much . . . No I won't go there, just remember I will always love you and know that you are watching over me, our kids and grandkids. Love you, Dra
Replies
you said it all so beautifully...think each of us feel the same way about our spouse, take care, hugs, Sandi
Its really good to hear about you and that you and yours are doing well.
Christi
The love you speak about is a treasure that will always be stored in our souls. It\'s that very love that helps us move into the future once again--even if it includes loving another. Nothing is wasted in our lives, and we are wise to integrate those important life lessons into our new futures. Good to see that things are going well for you. I\'m often taken aback when I think of how different I am and how different my life is compared to my 42 years with my beloved husband. Grateful, grateful for all that I had and have currently. It\'s hard to think of those first months and the grueling truth of loss. Take care.