New babies and family
Haven't been on in a while. I have been busy trying to finish classes (today is the last day!!! I can't believe four years has flown by so quickly!) Part of me is sad that school is ending and wonders what on Earth am I going to do with my time now (ha!) but the other part is thankful and proud that I have made it to my Bachelor's degree with everything else going on in my life! I'm finally here!!
Things have been relatively quiet here. T got a new position at work, which means that he is gone for most of the time (which honestly isn't all that different than it has been). But it also means that he is making a lot more money. Of course, we haven't seen any of that, but the evidence walks in the door every day. He has a complete new wardrobe, a new phone, a new truck, and on and on. I want to get irritated about the fact that he still isn't paying bills or offering to help with the kids' Christmas gifts (or anything else they need..such as clothes and food), but I just don't have it in me to get irritated or angry over these things any more. It doesn't do any good to get frustrated with him when I am the one refusing to change things and move forward.
My son is back home. He started a fantastic program at the community college that a friend of ours got him involved in. I am SO proud of him and feeling great that he might be really getting himself together (and he is only 18, so it didn't take him as long as it has the rest of his family!) He gets free transportation, he will earn his plumbing certification, they will pay for him to attend driving school (and most importantly will transport him back and forth) and get his license, he will take his GED test on Dec. 13th, he attends counseling daily and they are teaching them to interview properly, to communicate respectfully and properly, to budget, and on and on. He will also have a paid internship at the end of the program and his own set of tools and work boots. He has made a lot of new friends and is feeling good about himself for the first time in....forever. Not only does he get all of these benefits, but he also gets paid $1 per hour to be in these classes!! I am so excited for him it makes me want to cry tears of joy! Of course, T is irritated that he is back home and without a real job. He thinks this whole thing is stupid and continues to rant about how this isn't my responsibility that my son is an adult (for God's sake the boy is just 18 and has had a hell of a life up to now thanks to this relationship and my actions). I am just happy for him and pray I can stave off any confrontations between the two men until he finishes the program. My son and his girlfriend are still together, but she also got a great job (courtesy of her aunt) at a law office and is spending the week at her aunt's house so she doesn't have to travel; on Fridays she picks up my son and they spend the weekend with her parents. The two of them really seem to be getting themselves together in preparation for a future.
I had a new nephew born on Thursday--he is adorable!! I, of course, took the kids and went to the hospital after work/school that evening. I asked T if he wanted to come see the new baby and his response was "Are you kidding, he's ugly, she's ugly, so of course their kid is ugly too; why would I want to come see him!!" Then he launches into how he has to take care of himself because I'm always so busy with my family, and on and on. He has pouted for the past couple of days because of this. Of course, I am always home before he is anyway, so it isn't taking from "his time", but it is the point I know. He cannot stand for anything or anyone else to take center stage. It drives me crazy and really drives home for me the point that nothing has or will change with him. I have just learned to pretty much ignore the ranting and raving and it just doesn't get to me as much as it used to.
Thanksgiving is coming and holidays are always the worst with him. He always finds some way to ruin holidays with his bad attitude. I pray that I can keep my newfound manner and simply let it roll off of me. I kind of feel sorry for him because he will never be happy and never find peace with his attitude and "me against the world" mentality. Of course, I cannot continue to let my feeling sorry for him keep me and my children stuck in this cage. What's so wrong with wanting to be loved, supported, and to have a relationship that includes sharing with one another and being together as a family? Just thoughts.......
Things have been relatively quiet here. T got a new position at work, which means that he is gone for most of the time (which honestly isn't all that different than it has been). But it also means that he is making a lot more money. Of course, we haven't seen any of that, but the evidence walks in the door every day. He has a complete new wardrobe, a new phone, a new truck, and on and on. I want to get irritated about the fact that he still isn't paying bills or offering to help with the kids' Christmas gifts (or anything else they need..such as clothes and food), but I just don't have it in me to get irritated or angry over these things any more. It doesn't do any good to get frustrated with him when I am the one refusing to change things and move forward.
My son is back home. He started a fantastic program at the community college that a friend of ours got him involved in. I am SO proud of him and feeling great that he might be really getting himself together (and he is only 18, so it didn't take him as long as it has the rest of his family!) He gets free transportation, he will earn his plumbing certification, they will pay for him to attend driving school (and most importantly will transport him back and forth) and get his license, he will take his GED test on Dec. 13th, he attends counseling daily and they are teaching them to interview properly, to communicate respectfully and properly, to budget, and on and on. He will also have a paid internship at the end of the program and his own set of tools and work boots. He has made a lot of new friends and is feeling good about himself for the first time in....forever. Not only does he get all of these benefits, but he also gets paid $1 per hour to be in these classes!! I am so excited for him it makes me want to cry tears of joy! Of course, T is irritated that he is back home and without a real job. He thinks this whole thing is stupid and continues to rant about how this isn't my responsibility that my son is an adult (for God's sake the boy is just 18 and has had a hell of a life up to now thanks to this relationship and my actions). I am just happy for him and pray I can stave off any confrontations between the two men until he finishes the program. My son and his girlfriend are still together, but she also got a great job (courtesy of her aunt) at a law office and is spending the week at her aunt's house so she doesn't have to travel; on Fridays she picks up my son and they spend the weekend with her parents. The two of them really seem to be getting themselves together in preparation for a future.
I had a new nephew born on Thursday--he is adorable!! I, of course, took the kids and went to the hospital after work/school that evening. I asked T if he wanted to come see the new baby and his response was "Are you kidding, he's ugly, she's ugly, so of course their kid is ugly too; why would I want to come see him!!" Then he launches into how he has to take care of himself because I'm always so busy with my family, and on and on. He has pouted for the past couple of days because of this. Of course, I am always home before he is anyway, so it isn't taking from "his time", but it is the point I know. He cannot stand for anything or anyone else to take center stage. It drives me crazy and really drives home for me the point that nothing has or will change with him. I have just learned to pretty much ignore the ranting and raving and it just doesn't get to me as much as it used to.
Thanksgiving is coming and holidays are always the worst with him. He always finds some way to ruin holidays with his bad attitude. I pray that I can keep my newfound manner and simply let it roll off of me. I kind of feel sorry for him because he will never be happy and never find peace with his attitude and "me against the world" mentality. Of course, I cannot continue to let my feeling sorry for him keep me and my children stuck in this cage. What's so wrong with wanting to be loved, supported, and to have a relationship that includes sharing with one another and being together as a family? Just thoughts.......
Replies
Congratulations for getting through the degree, that is awesome! :)