New Baby

I know I haven't been on the site in the last day or so but my daughter had her baby yesterday at 5:15 a.m. A little girl Madeline to join her big sister who is 8. Jim and I always thought that we would just be having one grandchild. I am so torn, holding back the tears knowing that JIm will never hold, see, or spoil this little one. She is so cute and I love her and my family so  much. But when does the pain end. I feel like I have to put on this brave front all the time for everyone, but I am dying inside. I know that life goes on, and I am truly trying. It is just so hard, I have never been without Jim since I was 15 yrs. old. I WANT to be happy. I WANT to carry on, it is just soooo hard. I will come on when I have the time, the next few days will be a little hectic. I want you all to know that I carry you in my thoughts and prayers. I have to look for that rainbow. I KNOW it is somewhere..........