Never Pretty
I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone so I figured I'd tell my journal my biggest darkest secret that hurts me to my core the reality of not feeling pretty the truth of always being called ugly the feeling of being too dark the knowing that my eyes are so big brings me to a place where I think that I accept things that I maybe shouldn't but if everyone else has said these things about me all my life and I don't see beauty when I look at myself I guess as good I am smart independent successful as I am not and will never be in the future will never ever be pretty
Replies
Pretty doesnt mean much in the long term,
Think of all the pretty ones you know are they
Happier more contented. I always said i did
Not ever want a handsome husband, women
Would try to steal him :) lost mine anyways.
I am chubby now, i dont like it and there is
A way to cure it, stop emotional eating i have
Been doing it for years.
We all have something nobody is perfect
And we all need to love ourselves like God
loves us. That can be a challenge but doable
With working on yourself. I have better luck
There than losing weight. HUGS
Well I certainly admire your ability to feel good about yourself regardless of your weight that does give me hope that is possible I just can't stop thinking of all the times when people have called me that word and it hurts. Thank you for your kind words you're always very informal. Hugs
Hmm, I know the feeling. My whole childhood I was teased for how I looked. Looking back I don't think that I was nearly as "ugly" as I let them convince me that I was. (Patty-fatty 2x4, can't fit through the kitchen door. Patio furniture...and then sat on me. And it goes on...)
Is your avatar your picture? If so you look a lot like a girl I know. And she is one of the most beautiful people I know inside.
Thanks Patti yes that's my pic
Its funny when i was a child i was told i had
Lots of body hair and i was conscious of it.
Now i am very thankful for my blonde hair
That Nobody can see. Its laughable now,
then it was because i was teased And yes
my eye brows did go together. I Could
pluck them when i was old enough.
I look back at my pictures and i was A
normal sized child. I was always made to
Feel chubby. I was as a baby but otherwise
Just normal looking. HUGS
when you love someone you think Of them as
beautiful. I always thought of my Ex that way.
He had a different outlook on his looks which
confused me but that was him, And there was
nothing i could say or did say Different to dissuade
him. Its a deep issue on How you view yourself
he had some facial Scaring. Yea big deal life
happens but it was to him. HUGS
It's just something I've always struggled with since I was a child and why I'm able to obtain everything else I need to be who I want to be that's something I just can't change and I've never really grown to accept
How old are you?
33
Dig into you and get help and get away from your
Abuser. I love alanon there is always CODA and go
To therapy and/or go to the shelter for support.
You know your options i remember you too, life
Is short to stay with someone that is not good
Or respectful of you. First you must love and
Respect yourself and that takes work for many
Of us.
After my ex checked out he got disrespectful,
Respect equals love, if you dont respect them
You dont love them. they would not cheat if
They loved you. HUGS
I sent in a friend request so you are
on my Feed on your journal.
Angry is definitely something that I should get help for I just don't know what you call that like is that Depression more some other form of condition
If you come from abuse you find abusers
Its a cycle. I come from dysfunction and
Alcoholism. I married someone that suffered
From alcoholism even though dry and his
Mother came from it. I married what i knew
And was comfortable.
I embrace my healthy anger it propels
Me to change and grow. Its not toxic
Anger or self directed anger or anger
At others.