never forgetting saturday
Its been a month since i lost my baby girl.she would have been 33 weeks inside my womb kicking and moving .i thought that it was the safest place for my baby...never knew that my own body could cause this .i miss her every second..her kicks ,her hiccups,my pregnant belly.
It is so awful....one month back the same day..the same Saturday .i was very happy,i thought i had everything i wanted..may be god was jealous with me and in the evening i went to emergency as i did not feel my baby move all through the day.I just knew that something was wrong as she was very active inside usually and i had a wellness checkup 12 hours ago ..so i never expected this would happen.i heard her heartbeat just 12 hours ago at my OB..everything was perfect.i felt her move that night at 2:30 ..somehow i couldn't sleep well that night so was awake till early hours.
The emergency room I went in and the tragic incident that happened that night is haunting me day and night.what ever i do all those things revolve inside me.i have lost interest in everything, living like a rock with my mind and brain with my angel..without talking,not able to give much time to my older living son thinking how my life changed in one day.
I was a very peppy person ,happy and contented with what ever god gave me..but he thought i don't deserve to be happy and took away my unborn angel..and left me alone to suffer for her loss.I feel completely dejected and lifeless and unable to go out in public thinking that i don't deserve to do those things as i lost my baby.i don't feel like going out,talking ,outing,laughing watching TV.i don't know when i can come back to normal and at least try to be brave for the sake of my son.we love you and miss you so much Vaishu. I want to hug you tightly and cry to my hearts content.i don't have words to express my feelings to you my dear but you know that mamma loves you and what you mean to her.
It is so awful....one month back the same day..the same Saturday .i was very happy,i thought i had everything i wanted..may be god was jealous with me and in the evening i went to emergency as i did not feel my baby move all through the day.I just knew that something was wrong as she was very active inside usually and i had a wellness checkup 12 hours ago ..so i never expected this would happen.i heard her heartbeat just 12 hours ago at my OB..everything was perfect.i felt her move that night at 2:30 ..somehow i couldn't sleep well that night so was awake till early hours.
The emergency room I went in and the tragic incident that happened that night is haunting me day and night.what ever i do all those things revolve inside me.i have lost interest in everything, living like a rock with my mind and brain with my angel..without talking,not able to give much time to my older living son thinking how my life changed in one day.
I was a very peppy person ,happy and contented with what ever god gave me..but he thought i don't deserve to be happy and took away my unborn angel..and left me alone to suffer for her loss.I feel completely dejected and lifeless and unable to go out in public thinking that i don't deserve to do those things as i lost my baby.i don't feel like going out,talking ,outing,laughing watching TV.i don't know when i can come back to normal and at least try to be brave for the sake of my son.we love you and miss you so much Vaishu. I want to hug you tightly and cry to my hearts content.i don't have words to express my feelings to you my dear but you know that mamma loves you and what you mean to her.
Replies
I am sorry Dear. I feel your pain. Every weekend and weekday passes and we sit and think prior too when we were so happy. Now we live in misery. I that when our time comes we will be reunited with our angels. God bless you.