Never A Dull Moment

Well ---- now that T is doing well ......time to focus on middle son, J.  He's been taking advantage of our distractions and now we need to focus on him.  J never ended up finding a job that has more than a few hours a week.  Although we reminded him that he had to get a jump on the job hunting before others returned from college, he didn't.  He was, however, very busy reffing soccer and tucking his cash away.  Until he thought T stole his money, we had no idea he was hoarding at home.  I understand it's convenient for him to have it at his disposal and that it is inconvenient to make a trip to the bank (he doesn't drive yet) I told him he needs to desposit the bulk of it for safe keeping and for interest.  Truthfully, he really needs to give us some of his money for safe keeping because we found out that he is not spending it wisely.  The other day I went into his room while he was taking another soccer reffing class to up his license and guess what I found?  Tucked away in his fanny pack (he likes to wear soccer shorts which have no pockets) was baggy.  In the baggy was pot!  Also in the pack was a small bong!  I was so angry I wanted to spit.  How dare he!  After all that our family has been through!  As if being arrested last summer for him wasn't enough!  When hubby picked him up after his class he lit into him.  And J had the audacity to ask my husband for the pot and pipe back so that he could sell it and get his money back!  He said that that was $70.00 worth!  Now that makes me sick to my stomach!  So.......guess didn't come home after that encounter.  We didn't even get to finish the conversation.  Husband told him if we EVER find that stuff again or learn of his usage.....he is OUT of our house!  Well - J called us and came home late last night.  We have to have the second part of the conversation - which would include that if he can't stop we are here to help him.  If he feels he doesn't have a problem (denial is part of it if that is the case) we will do whatever it takes to help him.  I think he does have a problem.  But it doesn't matter what I think because he's the one who has to admit it.