Neurology appt.

Saw my Doctor today.  He was  a little shocked regarding the effects this surgery and the complications had on me.  He wants to wait on the chemo therapy for now.  My left arm is locked and my back is trying to.  I thought it was spasticity.  I have room still to turn up my pump.  He prescribed PT/OT, anti-depressant, and some med to help with the incontinence.  Hopefully it will get me out of the depends.  The unfortunate side affect is constipation, I already have issues there.  More fiber for me.  He is the sweetest man.  He is encouraging me that this will get better over the.  Less pain I hope.  I did this pump thing and have a little less pain, however I still hurt a lot.  I am tired of pain.  My husband says I am strong.  He couldn't do this.  He also reassured me he married me knowing what MS could do.  Very sweet cause, eve though I know I have no control, I feel guilty.  Our lives are so different today.  We used to travel, go to the beach, run, surf, and laugh a lot.  Now we are more stressed and tied down.  Days off are spent at the doctor's.  I find it hard to do much and be joyful while in pain.  I have a super high tolerance. and I'd rate the pain as an average 7. Any how, I will press on