Nerves...
im really fightin the urge to not call that lady about the horses over and over again like a lunatic... i hope she is ok honestly, and that something just came up and she couldnt make it. tough time today, been depressed since last night.... hard to function. however, since, tuesday i believe it is, i have been trying to do SOMETHING, anything every single day, towards getting this puppy and this house. resume's and applications. im even driving out to tacoma tomarrow, to put in my application in a casino.. i know i know... the last place i want to work, or should work. but i need the money, and i need to work part time, and well, im just not going to make it if i dont. i just have to make sure i dont fall in the gambling trap. i would love to say i am better, that i have more control now, but we all know how dangerous that is... and im afraid. but i have to try. at least for now. I need to create a cushion, i need money. and unless something just miraculously falls in my lap, its the only way i can get enough. initially i need about 2,000 to get all this rolling, after that i can live on about 1400 a month, even a little less if i have to. today i turned in a copy of my license and mixology permit and ss card to the person who said he hired me on call, the other bartender recognized my name as the on call bartender, so i guess he was serious. i put in a resume somewhere else too. yesterday i filled out online applications, tomarrow i will put in at the casinos, then show the house i am helping someone rent out, so long day tomarrow. but every day, i am doing something. there is no breaks. something has to give... and it has to give soon... im more than willing, just show me the way, show me what to do. show me how to get out of this negative stance and be a positive person.
Replies
It\'s good that you have something so positive to throw your energies into and it\'s working. I do hope something works out for you - you deserve this! Hugs Suzi
Hi Drac: Nothing wrong with calling the woman about the horses if you didn\'t hear from her and expected to. It will ease your mind.
You seem to be doing all you can to move on; it\'s the most you can do right now, securing a job and house and preparing for the baby. Please don\'t be so hard on yourself and take credit for all you are doing.
Things will change, just probably not at the pace you want; doesn\'t it always seem that way ? LOL
Hang in there, the baby needs you :) You are smart and strong, and can do whatever you want with this life..
Love Brigette
It sounds like you\'re doing the best that you can. Be patient. I know it\'s hard, but give yourself some credit, you\'re pregnant, that\'s not an easy condition to be in, and you\'re still out there applying for jobs. Dang, I hate to see you have to end up in a casino, but if you do, remember, you don\'t gamble anymore. Okay. Start now, tell yourself, \"I don\'t gamble anymore\"...positive reenforcement works ;) I hope you hear from that lady again soon, but if you don\'t it\'s back to the drawing board. I love the fact you keep trying to do something each day, that\'s very positive. By the way, how\'s your pregnancy going? Take care, love, Robin
I\'m likw Robin...hate to see you back in the casino...Jobs are hard to find, and you have to do what you have to do to support yourself and the baby. Taking action and working toward getting to a better place is always a good thing, no matter how slow the progress seems.....keep the faith, things will get better....Hugs, Dianne
Should you chose the casino...try and treat it purely as a business transaction/place....you do not \"play\" where or when you are doing business....maybe adopting this way of thinking could be of help ....at least it is a point of focus. Whenever training staff for any business, we used this as our \"mantra\" it works in any situation and helps people develop a self-disciplined approach, something which employers quickly learn to value. I wish you well...personally I feel the Casino environment is a little soul destroying, but I understand your need to support you and your small person...things have a way of working out for people who have honest intentions...love, light and peace