Neighbors and my Dakota...

I am finally starting to feel better. Seems like it took a long time to get here. It was kinda scarey as the longer I took to feel better I was depressed and thinking horrible thoughts. What if all the damage I have done to my body is finally taking its toll? What if I never get better and I am dying or something? Isnt it funny (well not really) that when you are sick the depression hits you twice as hard. I almost started giving away my things and going out and buying myself something big and expensive to enjoy before I died and to leave the rest to my kids. Well mainly Dakota (19) because Ryan (29) is allready set in life with a very well paying job, home, new Cadillac and truck etc. Besides it was Dakotas dad misfortune that got me the money I have in my savings. Hopefully I will be here for a few more years to enjoy the time I have left with Al and my kids.Al is in Arizona for classes. He works for Komatsu as a salesman. They sale large equipment for digging etc. Dont ask me Im just a girly girl that doesnt know about it but its big equipment except like the skid steer. I think thats what ya call it, anyways he will be back tonight. I got off work and picked up Dakota and took him shopping. I got him two new sets of bed sheets, a matress cover, a comforter and a memory foam matress cover (expensive) to make him more comfortable in my room (my room if I ever have to go home again). I got him bunches of new towels and a new wallet. I just got him set up for a checking acct and debit card so he can learn all about that stuff. His old wallet was pink and came from Chucky Cheese. It always made me laugh cause he carried it around until it was in pieces. Must have been a good memory from years gone by. My birthday is Saturday and he is real excited about what he has bought me with his own money.. I told him not to get anything but hes not like that. He is such an awesome kid. We then went to dinner and I told him we needed to do this more often. He agreed.When I got home Al had a call from his neighbor Florence that I picked up. Al and the Olsens are the only ones who have not sold out to the realators and builders. They both have about five acres behind their houses for the horses and animals. They are building a new churh in the field directly across from our house. The church has been calling Florence and Al to get the property annexed. Im not sure what this exactly means but Florence was very upset and said the church had kept bothering her and she was through with dealing with them. She told me that Ferron (her hubby) had died the 27th and hadnt left her well with much insurance. I couldnt believe it. Ferron had died I guess while we were gone and we didnt even know it. We had been working in the yard on Saturday and noticed his horses and horse trailer gone and the kids working in the yard cleaning out stuff and we thought maybe that they were selling out also, didnt even think that there was a death. Made me very sad. They were quite an older couple and I didnt know them well but Al and them were friends. I offered her any help that she would need and she was so appreciative. She told me she was glad I was not one of those damn Mormons sticking my nose into everything.. My hell she sounded just like Al.. lol..(I was born in the Mormon religion but obviously never followed it)My birthday is Saturday and instead of going out to watch Als grandkids do the motocross, I think I am going to get him to borrow his friends dump truck and we will go over and help Florence and the kids clean up her place. (She said that Ferron was a junk man and kept things all over the place). Ferron was a cowboy and a roper. I always saw him out on his horses riding them and roping calves. He was very quick for an old man. I could really see the true cowboy in him. I guess some cowboy that Florence trusts has the horses and are keeping them ridden and they will auction them off at a rodeo in May. She said there are some damn ignorant cowboys out there too, just like the Mormons.. had to laugh.. She also said at the rodeo they are going to donate the funds from the door to her as Ferron hadnt left her with much money. I thought that was so awesome so I told her to remember to call me and let me know what day and where. I would love to have one of his beautiful horses but they are trained rodeo horses and they probably wouldnt get the riding they would need from me.. But ya never know.. Will have to see.. Still sober and thats my story and Im sticking to it... I love you all and you give me strength to make it through the hard times. Thank you all for your friendships.. You will never know how much you mean to me.. Please enjoy your life as much as you can cause you just never know what is hidden behind the next door.. Take care and be at peace and pain free.. Again, I love and appreciate you all... Y'Vonne