Negative Thoughts

I have been having a lot of negative thoughts lately and it really is putting a hamper on my recovery : (  I talked to my husband about it last night and he said I need to let all negative go and keep going - he also said it's the enemy giving me negativity :(  I have a really hard time being positive, I wish I could learn to be more positive.   I am depressed because I started thinking about how my panic disorder has robbed me of my life for the last few years and I know that there is nothing that could bring me back those years.  I start to think of how sad I am being a prisoner of my home and being able to go out alone.  I really want to get back out in the world and do something for myself, I just don't know where to start, I would love to be able to get a job, or volunteer, anything that would connect me with the outside world but I feel that my panic has a hold of me and won't let go :(  Lately, I've been thinking about what my purpose is beside being a mom and wife, I feel that there should be more for me but I can't seen to find it.  I want to wake in the morning and feel that I have a purpose, have friends and feel needed.