Needy ppl... omg... ugh

I've just been in Al Anon too long... lol... needy ppl just drive me batty. 

I know i was like that myself for a long, long time. But thru Al anon i've gotten much better. I'm just not codependent like i used to be. Not that I'm cured.. but I'm better. 

My lovely mother though... so needy... and as she gets older it gets worse. I'm just about nuts with it all... and like my brother said...."this is only going to get worse"....

YUP. I know.... 

It's all scenerios that she could have prevented. Leaving her doors unlocked. ... her car keys in her car w/ it unlocked all night... that's just ASKING for trouble. Not taking action and procrastinating... that only makes it worse.

My mom does not take care of herself. She expects OTHERS to take care of her. If they don't.. then in her mind,they do not love her. I know bc I used to think this same exact way.... I still have needy tendencies... but at least bc of the program I recognize them now. 

It is so wearing... it wears us down. Both me and my brother. And it's not going to get better I'm afraid. She gets over emotional... so when there is a crisis.. she's already worn out both of us AND herself. This all has been upsetting... but she's not taken any action.

FINALLY she called the police today. OMG finally. And I made phone calls and told her to TAKE OFF WORK and called someone to replace her door lock set and reset her door so it will close properly and have a dead bolt put in it. OMG.. that should have been done a year ago. It makes me so mad that she will not do things that need to be done. She waits for someone else to do it.... and then it all becomes a crisis. SHE shoudl have done this a year ago. WHY she hasn't I do not know.... why would you NOT have a door fixed for a year that will not shut properly???? WHY???? I do not understand that. 

A dry alcoholic operates just like an alcoholic .... if not worse... 

They even create drama by not taking action that is needed and they want YOU to take the action for them. It is so selfish. BC then you are left with no emotion or action for your own life. It's infuriating. 

I'm very angry at her. But I will not tell her that. And that's ok. But I did tell my brother that ... he agrees that she does not take care of herself .. and that she expects too much from us. But she is 76 and she's not changing now.

Oh well.. we got thru that crisis... But she's learning that SHE WILL have to drive to MY house if she is not safe. She wanted me to come over there and I told her NO... I told her I would not stay in a house that is not secure and that someone might have a key.. and that we do not know. I told Her I could not physically protect her.. She understood... but I know that if I went over there she wld still stay in that house w/ me and her both in jeopardy. 

Ridiculous.

So once again. Thank you journal.. for my sounding board. I have a text / call into my sponsor for so I can talk to her tomorrow. I just want to sound off to a "voice of reason" so that I do not say something mean to my mom.

She is old and it isn't fair and only adds fuel to the fire if I say something mean. But I'm tired of the life getting sucked out of me.

Me and my brother both are.... 

Irritated.... But this too shall pass....