needing advise

well some of you know that i have found somebody( a boy friend). how do you get close to somebody after you have been raped in the past. i am having problems opening up to him. he knows what i have been through and he told me not to worry about it. he told me to take my time. i am just afraid of how i will feel. has anybody else had these problems. he is the first guy that i have felt like this. i never got to close to the other guy that was out of state. if anybody has advise let me know. i was with him the last two days. last night i couldn't stay so long because i was in so much pain. the doctors have not got back with me. i am going to try to get a appointment to the doctor. another thing that made me uncomfortable today was my grandpa was talking to me about it and he was talking about birth control. i am not sure why he would say that. it just bothers me when i was alone with him. i am afraid he will say something or do something. he did say he can't touch me anymore now that i found somebody. he told me not to tell my new boyfriend.  i want to tell him but i don't know what to do. let me know what you think. i want to tell my boyfriend everything.
 
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I usually just listen to my inner voice and see what I want to do. Just do the best that you can. There are a lot of books that can help you as well.
inmemoryofhattie
inmemoryofhattie

dear friend,

from what you have shared here on DS, it is no wonder at all that you would be uncertain, and have many other feeling that need to be worked out. Perhaps finding a counselor who would be knowledgeable about your issues and would help you work them through would be some of what you need to get past the hurt and fear that has happened.

I agree with the previous poster...there is a whole slew of very good books that can help you work on these issues.

It is a very good thing that you want people in your life. Keep safe and value yourself. You are precious and priceless. You are NOT what has happened to you....