need your input and opinions.
:I know i am pregnant and can tend to over react and get emotinal over littel things. So please tell me if you think I am over reacting to this situation.
A few days ago i wrote DH a letter explaining that i needed more help. That im pregnant and things are harder with how tired i get. I have also been getting sick at night. Knock me on my butt sick. Well last night right before Ian went to bed DH decided to go get a new cell phone. So the kichen was a wreck ( i had just made home made fetticini alfredo) the living room had toys everywhere and Ian wa still up. Well i started getting violently ill again and spend 40 minutes in the bathroom. I call DH and tell him to get home. Well he says he cant because he is in themiddle of getting a new phone. Well about and hour pass Ian bed time i manage to carry him upstairs and get him to bed. I crawl in th ebed and and freezing. I have the chills. Well DH comes home around finally. I ask him if he will clean up down stairs. He always has kitchen duty if I cook. And i was way to sick to do anything. Well he is down stairs fr all of 2 minutes and comes up. Im like did you clean up down stairs. He said yes i was like really everything? You didnt just throw the dishes in the dishwasher you rinsed them off right. HE assures me everything is done.
Well imagine my surprise when i come downstairs this morning and the living room is exactly as it was when i went up stairs!! HE didnt do a single thing. Didnt pick up anything! I am so pissed. I asked repeatidly. I wrote hm a email prety much saying im pissed he lied to me and i dont want anyhing to do with him. This is unacceptibletome. Dont say you will do something then dont do it. I dont want to talk to him I am so tempted to not be homewhen he gets home today and go shopping just to releive some of my madness but im still not feeling to good and taking a 17 month old with me shopping kinda defeats the purpose of blowing off steam.
Do you think I over reacted or do I have a reason to be upset?
A few days ago i wrote DH a letter explaining that i needed more help. That im pregnant and things are harder with how tired i get. I have also been getting sick at night. Knock me on my butt sick. Well last night right before Ian went to bed DH decided to go get a new cell phone. So the kichen was a wreck ( i had just made home made fetticini alfredo) the living room had toys everywhere and Ian wa still up. Well i started getting violently ill again and spend 40 minutes in the bathroom. I call DH and tell him to get home. Well he says he cant because he is in themiddle of getting a new phone. Well about and hour pass Ian bed time i manage to carry him upstairs and get him to bed. I crawl in th ebed and and freezing. I have the chills. Well DH comes home around finally. I ask him if he will clean up down stairs. He always has kitchen duty if I cook. And i was way to sick to do anything. Well he is down stairs fr all of 2 minutes and comes up. Im like did you clean up down stairs. He said yes i was like really everything? You didnt just throw the dishes in the dishwasher you rinsed them off right. HE assures me everything is done.
Well imagine my surprise when i come downstairs this morning and the living room is exactly as it was when i went up stairs!! HE didnt do a single thing. Didnt pick up anything! I am so pissed. I asked repeatidly. I wrote hm a email prety much saying im pissed he lied to me and i dont want anyhing to do with him. This is unacceptibletome. Dont say you will do something then dont do it. I dont want to talk to him I am so tempted to not be homewhen he gets home today and go shopping just to releive some of my madness but im still not feeling to good and taking a 17 month old with me shopping kinda defeats the purpose of blowing off steam.
Do you think I over reacted or do I have a reason to be upset?
Replies
It is VERY frustrating!! I think we have to realize that a man\'s version of clean and ours is much different. Next time be very specific with him...make sure the toys are put away...the dishes are rinsed...etc, etc. I know it seems like you have two kids to take care of, but honestly, they just need things broken down. They don\'t think the way we do. My husband drives me bonkers when it comes to cleaning--unless I specifically tell him what to do. I made him a honey please list.
I don\'t know if he lied to you just to sleep or if he truly felt like he\'d done what needed to be done. Just try to think the best and talk to him when he gets home. I hope you can find a small way to relax, but I completely understand how hard that must be with being pregnant and taking care of another child. *hugs*
Thats the thing he knows that the living room needs to be picked up. We ALWAYS pick it up at night. He rides my ASS about it. So its not like he didnt know. What it was, was that he wanted to play with his new phone.
My Dh\'s version of clean and mine are very different but one thing we do agree on is the clean kitchen. We pick and chose our battles with the living room and the toys. As soon as I get them all put away Holden is up from a nap or whatever and 5 seconds later it looks the same. But Holden now has to help us put his toys away each night. He is doing a good job too. Boys and their toys., You may be a tad bit hormonal though. In the grand scheme of life it doesn\'t really matter if the toys aren\'t picked up each night. Some things you just have to let go......
Honestly you might be a little more angry than the situation allows. My husband did the exact type of thing with me the other night. I left it for him to clean later. I took B out to play in the park and at my parents and forgot about the huge mess. I picked up something for dinner that I did not need to do in the kitchen. I was just to tired to pick up after him. I sent him down twice last night to finish (and still had to wipe up a little). Yep, be angry but make him finish and don\'t let it make you crazy. Some men really have no clue. I\'d be most pissed that he didn\'t drop everything and get his butt home when you were sick last night. Hope this soon passes!
I would be upset but I would let it go. I used to be so anal about if the house was clean, nothing on the coffee table, floors spotless, you get the point. But really, it doesn\'t matter if it isn\'t ALWAYS immaculate. Maybe the letter wasn\'t the best way to go. Maybe you should wait until there is no tension and then just have a face to face discussion about what you need. Hang in there and good luck!
i share the same sentiment as the other ladies. i can see where u are coming from because there are times when i come home from work and see that my kitchen counter is covered with everything from my fridge - nothing is put away including the cheese! it\'s amazing how we as women have learned to work around our children and get things done. but ask our spouses to clean up the mess that they or their children made, it\'s as if they get a case of adhd and get distracted with something else or tell u crap that the job will get done...but when..JUDGMENT DAY?!!!
i\'ve been living with my boyfriend for 5 years and i still wonder if i also gave birth to him because he\'s sloppy and thinks i will always be there to clean up after him. At the end of the day, try and relax before confronting dh...u r pregnant and u don\'t need high blood pressure!!! u have a reason to be upset, but realize that u need to pick and chose your battles. like i\'ve learned to \"nag\" my boyfriend at least once a week instead of every 2 days!!!
I think we all feel the same way. Men just don\'t get it alot of the time. My husband isn\'t bad with helping clean but he is bad about sympathy. I can be sick as a dog and the most I get is \"you ok?\" oye. We totally get where you are coming from and you are allowed to get mad!
hmmm honestly id say u over reacted to the situation as far as telling him u want nothing to do with him, but idk how many times this has happened ect. soooo i cant be sure..... if this happens alot then yeh id be pissed too but if not thats a different story..maybe he was tired and planning on doing it first thing in the morning? maybe he just thought u meant to clean the kitchen not the living room? in any case this isnt a make or break it thing for your marriage so dont go making it worse by not coming home, id say this situation calls for a good \"silent treatment\" lol.. things will get better and im sure yall will work it out tonight, i know it can be so frustrating when we need them to help and they dont ..for whatever reason... they are MEN & most of them suck hahahha!!!! lol
Clinically, this is referred to as a \"Progesterone Induced Rage\" and is common in women taking mega doses of Progesterone. LOL My docs warned my DH about this...don\'t know if your hubby got the same warning. It kind of magnifies situations until they are ENORMOUS and we contemplate homicide over relatively mediocre infractions. He was wrong...and lazy...and irresponsible. I agree that you should find a way to get away and just let him know when you get back from wherever, it needs to be cleaned up. Maybe even make a list of the critical things that need to be done (without swear words interspersed in it...lol) and let him finish the job. Depending on how vitriolic your email was, you may need to let him know you are sorry you got so furious or said hurtful things...you were just extremely disappointed and felt like he had intentionally misled you about his achievements in the clean-up realm. :-)
I am praying for you! Pregnancy is tough! Pregnancy on Progesterone is DOWN RIGHT ROUGH!!
LOL thanks ladies. I guiess I shouldnt have saidI want nothing to do with hm. Ill admit that was a little much. The fact we just had a LONG talk about this exact same thing and he promised to help out more an then this. Im just pissed. I mean im a single mom most of the time i normally do everything because I have to. Help is not around when he is in london, or dubi or rome! And progesterone is a horrible horrible drug. I should get compensation for it!
That is very frustrating! And no you aren\'t over reacting . He needs to help more now that you are pregnant again. Men sometimes. Ugh. I hope things get better with that! Hugs!